December 17 … week week till the Holidays
So today I had a day off. Yesterday was a bizzy workday but a great one. Like every story I have to post, I have some terrible pains everywhere.
If I work a day, I need a day to be at home and do nothing. Just laying in bed, and sleep.
But today my family had some more plans for today, so it was a very hard day.
Now it’s 8pm and the pain is just killing me, even while I’m writing this blog. My hands are thick and I have a terrible headache.
My plan for this evening was to write a blogmas about my favorite songs, but that I just can’t do at the moment. This autism girl wanted to write a blog tonight so that’s what I’m doing right now.
Tomorrow I have a day full of plans so I hope it will be okay and feeling better tomorrow.
So pain, what kind of pain do I have?
- A lot of pain everywhere in my body and some tender points
- Spots where I have more pain and more pressure
- Fatigue (all day long)
- problems with sleeping
- a lot of concentration problems (not knowing what day it is, what I have to do or what people told me like 5 minutes ago in the store)
- anxiety and feeling a bit of my “old” depression symptoms feeling coming back
- every moring I have stiffness
- numbless and tingling everywhere like my hands, knees, legs, arms
- migraines, headache one is just over and I have another one
- problems with my stomach
- painfull eyes
- and bigger neck lymph
Like many others, there’s always dr. Google. Not a good idea, because I’m freaking out when I’m searching on those symptoms.
I went to my doctor for a test to see if I had rheumatism or not. The results were negative. So he gave me some more vitamins, magnesium and iron tablets. I had to take them for a month or 2 months.
But now after a month I don’t feel any differents. It’s so sad that I have to say that the problems are getting worse.
After searching on those symtoms I get so many results from the internet that are saying ‘fibromyalgia’.
As I’m a girl with autism I have like always tensions of all the stress I have all day in like every situation (working, going grocery shopping, taking a buss, going to the city). All that tension could make things worse.
The last thing I want is a long time spending in the hospital for doing some more test or spending days there to found out what’s wrong. Not knowing what will happen with me that day, always freaks me out.
So now I don’t know what to do. I really love my job and I just don’t want to give it up or stay at home because of all the pain. I only have 3 months left there at my work place and I want to spend those months at work and not in a hospital.
Christmas and Holidays?
This year I don’t have plans for Christmas eve, or the year ending. Besides that I have to work December 30 and 31. Guess I will be in bed on December 31 at 9pm like always 😦
While all my facebook is having a party I’ll be at home, in bed watching a movie or just sleeping.
On Christmas day I a family diner in the afternoon. But if I have so much pain and if I’m so fatigue like today. I guess I’ll be just in my room and watching a movie on Netflix. I don’t have the best family for parties. The make always so much noise and they always give me so much headache.
So I hope you all have amizing holidays this year and great parties !
One day …
One day, I hope that I can life a happy life without this much pain. That I found a really good doctor that give me some advice on how to life with this pain.
Love, Lucy xx