autistic country girl

My Autistic Life … my journey each day | Life is like a blog, everyday you write a new story

” It’s the most magical time of year “

Like the song goes ” it’s the most wonderfull time of year “, everybody is having some magical days.

Everybody !

Everybody, the whole world BUT

ME

Weeks before Christmas

Weeks before Christmas, everybody is so looking forward to the holiday season. Planning what to eat on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Planning what to buy for family and friends. Where to spend the holidays, where to go shopping etc.

And than there’s the Christmas tree. Buying a new tree (if it’s a real one), or putting your plastic one again. New decorations or all the decorations you already have collected before?

All those things, give so much stress for me. And really I’m totally not ready to celebrate Christmas or New Year.

Christmas tree

So this year, I was quite early putting my tree up and putting decorations in the tree. I didn’t spend a lot of time, but everybody is loving my tree so I’m happy. I did something good this year !

Here’s a little trowback of when I set my tree up.

Christmas music

I really love Christmas music, like I wrote in my blogmas earlier this week. I can’t stop listening to the Christmas album of Lady Antebellum.

It’s still so great, every time I put it on.

Christmas spirit

I have to admit my Christmas spirit is going off and on, off and on. Some moments I really love all the things about Christmas is coming, other days I can really sit back and wish all those days were over.

Like today … after seeing the lightning parade yesterday I felt some Christmas magic. Today I kind of lost it again. I don’t really have the feeling that it’s Christmas Eve today. Christmas tomorrow, OMGosh !

Christmas Eve

Well, you might guess … I’m sitting here at my table to write my blogmas (blogmas 23 and blogmas 24) insteat of celebrating Christmas with family.

Everyone on my personal Facebook is posting pictures and sending messages of them having a great diner and playing games together. I kind of put away my iPhone for the rest of the evening.

All my friends and family are sitting at a table to have diner and have a great time with each other. Well, I’m here having a ‘great’ time at my computer.

No plans today. I kind of missed not beeing at work. The only thing I did today was thinking, thinking, thinking and sleeping. Really not in the mood and not having the spirit of Christmas.

Most people with autism feel lonely and don’t like the holidays … well I’m one of those pleople.

Grinch

Okay, don’t get me wrong ! I’m not the GRINCH ! I’m not going to steal christmas from everyone. I just having a day and evening like any other sunday.

Maybe next year will be different.

So different this year

Now it’s the first year without my granny to celebrate the holiday, so another reason for me to not like the holidays this year.

I really love things that I know, and things that are familier. Now this year everything changed since my granny passed. A thing this #aspie girl really hates. All those changes, I hate changes in my life.

Christmas Day

Tomorrow some family will come over to eat. They will come around 2 pm in the afternoon. So I have plenthy of time to sleep and take a nap after lunch to clear my head before they come.

They are so loud, and I just don’t like all that hugging and all that kissing. So my plan for tomorrow is to come downstairs later than they arrive so I can skip that part. Hopefully.

The idea that I will not have internet access the afternoon, and I will be stuck at the table, makes my so scared.

Christmas Day outfit

To escape from all the dressing stress tomorrow morning I already put aside my outfit for tomorrow.

I will be wearing my normal black skinny jeans from JDY, black scarf from Zara (if it’s to cold I have something extra).

I will also wear my Christmas jumper by H&M, that I bought a few days ago.

hmgoepprod (1)

Meowy Christmas to all of you ! 

For shoes I’m still in doubt. I have 2 options but they are both loafers. I will be chosing between these 2 …

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Golden loafers from ‘Marco Tozzi’, new collection available at Schoenen Torfs (Belgium)

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Gucci look-a-like from Steve Madden, winter collection available at Schoenen Torfs

The party is at my brothers house, so first I have to wear my old Timberland boots to go to all the dirth to get there (new building). So I will wear one of them inside, and maybe I’ll take the other pair with me.

The rest of the day will be hard, sitting there with all the screaming, movie playing, music playing, family talking etc. Maybe I’ll go home between all the food and watch ‘Olaf’s frozen Adventure’ on television.

Or maybe, I’ll come back here to blog, I will see.

But for now …

 

Merry Christmas to all of you !
Have a magical Christmas Eve and enjoy the time with your family and friends!

Love, Lucy xx

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