All the stress … it’s freaking me out !

So here I’m again … a few weeks past since my last blogpost. The plan of blogging more, is not been a succes over the past weeks.

I’ve noticed I’ve been active more on Instagram by posting pictures of moments during the day but more than that … is a plan that’s kind of frozen right now.

I work only 3 days a week but I have no time to take a break from live, go on vacation, go away for a few days. Every day is filled with stress, and more stress.
So bad it has blocked me at home from doing nice stuff, stuff I really want to do.

But my autistic life has blocked me, and I don’t now how to take the rest I need right now.

Moving day

Well, the biggest factor of stress is the fact I’m moving next week … THE 4THE OF JULY ! As an America lover I needed this date as an officially moving date.

So I still need to pack a lot of stuff, a lot of clothes, my Disney collection and so much more … but I’m totally missing the drive right now. The drive of cleaning out my room and pack the stuff I need to take with me.

Right now here in Belgium the weather is really summer, like 30C degrees and we will having this temperature untill next weekend !

Sales

Since a few days we have the sale started in Belgium. So things I had on my wishing list are now for sale with a big discount. But as I just finished building my own house, I kind of have a budget for shopping right now. This fashionista is having a hard time not be able to buy what I love when I want it.

This gives me so much stress, and it’s so hard to clean my head with all the emotions because I missed that pair of shoes of handbag I wanted to buy 😥

All the mental help I get right now, is not enough so  I can’t wait for my next session in 2 weeks. Hope I’ll be able to survive till July 16.

Cat

My cat has the intention to take a little summer vacation right now. Which is so horrible, knowing he’s somewhere in the fields behind our house and that harvest season started.

Yesterday he came home for some food and water and now it’s already afternoon and still haven’t seen him today. It’s freaking me out but it’s a farm cat so I can’t do a thing about it. He’s used to this life so he can’t live inside the house all day.

Summer trips

Well, as living on a budget I can’t go on vacation to Florida or take another Disney Cruise for the next years. So sad, because I always lived for vacations, the Mickey Way. I’m living close to Disneyland Paris, well it’s “only” a 3,5 hour drive to Disneyland Paris.

Trips are now trips to the seaside here in Belgium, which you can’t call it paradise. The water is durty, too much people, too much buildings, etc.

Last Tuesday we went to Oostende (pictures on my Instagram page @autisticcountrygirl), and it all started with a train delay of 55 minutes (all minutes we extra spend INSIDE the train). We went to the beach, ate some Mc Donalds, and went to see the Mercator Ship before going back home.

I was so stressed out that I needed to see some shops and spend some money. BAD me I know, because I always having a hard time buying stuff I don’t need when stressed out. Luckely there was a Flying Tiger in Oostende, so it wasn’t that expensive.

Other trips

Well, besides moving and sleeping a lot in my new house, I don’t have plans this summer to go on other big trips. Besides a trip to visit the city of Hasselt next week.

Other trips when be spending a day in Mechelen, my absolute favorite city here in Belgium. It’s so pretty, pretty as the big cities as Bruges or Gant but way smaller and so much nicer.

I really like Antwerp a lot, but it’s a big bigger and since there’s a Primark it’s so buzzy when you have to take the train to the city. So I kind of avoid that right now.

The city of Brussels is horrible, I really hate that city. I worked there for 2 years, but I hated every single day. When you visit some shops, most of them are a total mess. All the toeristic things there in Brussels I don’t like, and everything is so far away. Taking the metro is horrible when you have autistic. In Paris I don’t have a problem with taking the metro because it’s logic, in Brussels it’s horrible to find the right metro, tram or bus.

Plans for my blog … in the next days

  • making a blog with pictures from my visit to Planckendael on June 18, for the press event of Toerisme for Autisme in Belgium.
    Planckendael is just 15 minutes away from my house but I haven’t visit it for 21 years !!!
    I’ll explain in one of my next blogs.
  • posting about my favorite styles for the next season. As a shoeseller I have the first views on the new trends that are coming to our store and to the webshop. I’ve been saving some money to spend on the new collections and last week I bought some of the things for next season.
  • Getting my life back together after moving out
  • life when I moved out
  • Summer trips, or events nearby here in Belgium
  • starting to draw again, not easy with fibromyalgie and painfull hands but I can do this

Instagram

If you want to read more on a daily basis from me, you can check out my Twitter (@autisticcountry) or my Instragram (@autisticcountrygirl).

But I’ll make it up here to by posting more blogposts and aswer earlier on you replies.

Thanks for all of you support over the last weeks by liking my posts ! 

Love you all xx

Advertenties

How is life rightnow ? Therapy, therapy, therapy

Well yeah, the never ending story of my life I guess. 

THERAPY

 The whole thing with having autism, having psoriasis, having fibromyalgia, having meltdowns, … got it’s breakpunt reached.

I never stopped therapy sessions with my psychologist, or psychiatrist, but now I’m going a few times more again.

Everybody is saying you have a great job, a great new house, great family … ‘ you can’t have a mental problem’. Well I’m sure have !

For me everything has to be perfect, so it’s so damn hard if you can’t create, can’t drawn, can’t shop like you always have in a perfect way. I can’t color my hair anymore, getting new pills who are making me fat (okay I don’t eat healthy all day but that’s never get’s me as FAT as since I started to take those new pills).

So yesterday, I had an appointement with my therapist and we had a great talk. So she gave me some homework to deal with the next few weeks. One of them is starting to eat healthy the whole day long.

Eating healthy and planning what I’m going to eat the next days is so hard. Because I don’t know what I want to eat tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

Doing some groceries every day, is a total NOOOOOO … so now I have a huge struggle in front of me about food, about making better choises.

I took my favorite cook book by the hand and this evening I started to bake the Bananabread, like NIOMI SMART. She posted a video ‘what I eat in a day’ a few days ago on her YouTube channel, so I was inspired to make that to.

IMG_8529

So here it is! I never get this golden brown look like she has but it’s sooo delicious. 

I now have breakfast for tomorrow. Okay I took  slices as a snack already. I just couldn’t resist. I hope I can eat this tomorrow morning without my chocopaste (I’m still in my eating chocopaste period). So hope I will be okay eating this tomorrow and not having toast with chocopaste.

Tomorrow is a workday, so it’s going to be a salad for me insteat of a sandwich with some good old Dutch cheese.

I have to do this, I have to eat healthy to stay like this and not getting fatter because of the pills. If I don’t do this, and nothing will fit me, than I’ll be back on track with feeling despressed (story of my life, nothing new).

Please be kind and love your support, here on my blog, on my Instragram (@autisticcountrygirl) or Twitter (@autisticcountry).

**** Stay Smiling ****

Love lucy xx
(maybe it’s that time to start blogging under me real firstname soon)

A day at our countryside – May 27, 2018

On Sunday May 27, I posted a lot of pictures through the day on my Instragram (@autisticcountrygirl).
I promised to write a whole blog about how I felt that day, with a little delay …
Here it is!
Hope you all enjoy some countrylife of Belgium.

Normally I have to work every Sunday so I can’t never plan a thing on doing with my family like going to some events, special occassions, shops, festivals … I made the descission of working the greatest job in the world so you know you have to miss most of those things.

Most of those things are crowded, tooo many people on the same place, to much noices, to loud music etc. So in one way it’s better to stay a day at work helping others having a great day off.

Strawberry festival

On May 27 I got a free Sunday, without asking for it. On that day we had an Strawberry event here in my local area. Moving out soon, so time to do something here.

It was more of an information event about local products than for the strawberry itself. At 3PM there was a ‘world record Milkshake drink’ but there weren’t that much people to hit the goal of 2000 people (they had like 1200 people drinking at the same time).

The milkshake itself was just horrible. They said it was made with local milk and with some fresh strawberries. YEAH right, totally not made with fresh strawberries but with a powder. As the shake was seedless and very light pink. And it was sooooooooo sugary.

IMG_8278

Sooo Sorry ‘ONS’ but this was not REAL strawberry ! 

The event took place in my old school, so it was nice to see it again. They did a great job in making the place look nice for the public and for visitors. I remember, from beeing a kid, that it was always forbitten to step on the place where we went. Or just sit on the old iron ‘attraction’.

It’s look sooo old, but just looked like I remembered. So it was 20 years ago in such bad condition as now. Just for information, it wasn’t a new one when I went to school there 😉

Look for yourself, but for me it still have something of a horrormovie seeing it (remembering how it looked when it was dark in winter).

Here’s the park when we weren’t allowed to step one foot on it, but now it’s open for public every single day. So some changes were good, because it’s so beautiful and quiet walking there.

And here are some pictures of my old school, almost sad to say nothing changed in those 20 years (well 21)

And here are some pictures of the other part of the park where they put a smal farm with apple trees

The ‘strawberry’ event was more like a market with local products

IMG_8277

Well, it’s not wrong with all those other local products … BUT … when this #aspiegirl hears ‘strawberry festival’ she wants an explotion with strawberries. And not just one thing to taste horrible milkshake and another one to buy plane fresh strawberries. But more like pastries with strawberries, desserts, art, … just things WITH STRAWBERRY included. 

After we saw the whole market, drunk are ‘milkshake’, visit the event inside about World War 1 … it was time for a little ride with some Belgium Work horses ‘Belgisch trekpaard’. 

Here are some pictures first … story will follow below

IMG_8295

Our ‘taxi’ has arrived … 2 beautiful horses 

Here are some pictures I took during the trip through ouw countryside. The ride took me to places I never seen before, while I live here for 33 years. How is that possible? It was a shocking moment, but now I found some beautiful spots here to go on a bike trip or walk. 

Oh and off course, no long trip without RODNEY ATKINS

IMG_8342

Most places have bords with ‘deer’ crossing the street. Here on the countryside we have them with COWS crossing the street. So strange to always remember the big city of Louvain is only 10 minutes away from that place 😮 (and Brussels only 25 mins) and still you are in the countryside with ‘cows crossing the streets’. 

IMG_8314

So here’s the story about that trip. I was expecting a short trip around the school and in the close neighbourghood. Well I was sooooooo wrong !

We left with the horses around 15.45PM at the school and the trip will be around 1,5 hours to be back.

It was an extreemly hot day, and than 1,5 hours on the road with horses. Well, sometimes you have to do the things your family wants to do and follow them.

The trip took us to a close local brewery, we had the opportuinity to get off and visit it but I refused and stayed on. So everybody followed me. I was not in the mood to visit a brewery and taste that beer, as I don’t drink beer.

After the 5 minute stop, to change some passengers, we went back on the roads … with the horses. Poooooooor horses, so hot and doing such hard work.

Next stop was another visit to a local farm, a PORK farm. The place was a place we knew so we didn’t went outside in the heat and risking not having a place back to the school. The stop took more than 20 minutes as the horses needed water and some rest. Who could blame them, in that heat ???

And then it was time for the last trip on the road with the horses to the school again.

We came back at 6PM, so we spend more than 2 hours riding those horses with the ‘huifcar’ (sorry don’t know the word in English for the car/pickup/ we were in. So if you know the word please let me know.

Luckely I had my iPhone to take some pictures and listen to Rodney Atkins, well some country when beeing in the countryside, otherwise I had given up or even not went on that trip. And if I knew it would take more than 2 hours, I refused. But I have to admit, kind of glad I did.

Going to end this here. Just had a great day, but the organization of this event could be so much effecient or better if they had a shorter trip planned for the horses in this heat. Just a trip through the park, through the village, arond the close fields etc. But not a trip to 2 things that are so far away from everything.

I’m also glad nothing changed at the organization, organizing is not their greatest (worked for them 10 years ago). 

THE DAYS AFTER

I had this huge autistic meltdown, I could get out of my bed for 3 days. I had to convince myself to go to work but it was a terrible day. BUT I stayed strong and stayed the whole work day.
The rest of the week I was feeling a bit down, not having energy, not having the feeling of doing something good, etc.

That’s why I’m writing this blog about May 27 now, and not last week. So sorry 😉

Hope you enjoyed some countylife here. OH  BTW we do have tractors here, and not only horses to do all the work :p

Love, Lucy xx