The day after Christmas

So here it is … The day after Christmas ! Yesterday I was hoping for this day to come, now I want it do be over !

When your body is killing yourself !

As a girl with autism, one of the things I really hate is the holiday season in December. Really like the past week, and the upcoming week.

How about Christmas day?

Well, I can be short … it was a horrible day ! We had some family over for the afternoon and dinner time.

Everybody was screaming, yelling insteat of talking and that all before drinking alcohol. So I start to watch some episodes of Fuller House on mij iPhone.

That was good for 45 min and then I had to go home (the house next door). I was already too much, and need a time to escape the madness.

It wasn’t that great beeing there together, like always I started to get a migraine. Those people don’t understand ‘having autism’ so I haven’t told them I have autism. Will it change their behevior? NOPE, it will be worst I guess.

So next Christmas I’ll be living on my own, and I will be just alone for Christmas without family and without the screaming. Then it will be just me and my cats.

Spending Christmas in a quiet place, YEAH I really can’t wait. Maybe that will make me love the holidays again.

For dinner I had just a sandwich with peanutbutter and jam, and some whipped cream cake.

After dinner I had enough ! I went home, not saying goodbye and locked the door here. I wanted to be alone. Later that evening they were leaving and they were knocking on the door, but I refused to open it and to say goodbye. When I’m hurt I’m hurt. 

The day after Christmas

So what about today ?

Today I woke up at 9am, ate some breakfast and went back to bad. My head was exploding and I had pain just everywhere (now I have horrible pain in my hand writing this blog).

This afternoon I stayed in bed and watched the last episodes of Fuller House. I actually woke up again and came out of bed around 3 pm!

All my muscles hurt so much, can bearly move and have no energy doing stuff.

Seeing a doctor?

Yes, I’ve searched for an appointement with a specialist. Everywhere here in my area is having a long waiting time. SO, I can have an appointement at the end of MAY.

Yess you read it good ! An appointement in MAY ! So this will be a long 5 months with pain everywhere. So horrible! (I know this blog had a lot of ‘horrible’ in it, sorry). Feeling like Grumpy cat right now. 

” What I got for Christmas? “

Everybody is showing their ‘what I got for Christmas’ on their Instagram/Twitter/Facebook and their blog.

No I will not show here my list of things “what I got for Christmas”? Euhm why not? Well simple ! I didn’t got a present for Christmas.

WHAT? You might be shocked ! But is another reason why I don’t feel all the Christmas spirit like anyone else. For me not a surprise, I’m used to it. Maybe I will get some presents at New Year.

But I’m not expecting some big presents !

So I’m a bit sorry that I can’t watch all your “what I got for Christmas” blogs, it’s making this autistic girl feel sad 😥 

Love Lucy xx

 

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Blogmas 21 … Christmas treat

My favorite Christmas treat …

Lychee

Earlier this week I was in the store and I found these really delicious lychees again. For me … there’s no Christmas feeling without eating lychee.

Normally they are quite expensive here in Belgian stores but this year I found that the price per kilo was okay.

So I was glad I could buy these (one time buy only each year) delicious lychee before Christmas. Guess the price will be higher this weekend.

Yummie !

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Grocery shopping during the Holiday season

Going to a supermarket here in my area is pretty hard for me as an autistic girl. Since we have a new Lidl store here, I prefer to go grocery shopping there.

Last week I was in our local ‘Colruyt’ supermarket, which is always full packed with products, people that are just not fighting to get the last products. For this autistic girl shopping at Colruyt (the shop with the lowest prices in Belgium) is a nightmare.

Doing your grocery shopping there the days before Christmas is HELL ! Like people forget to have some respect for others, they seem to think ‘ I need that, go out of my way I was here first ‘. So horrible.

So yesterday I did my shopping before going to work at Lidl. I guess I have everything bought to get me through the Christmas weekend!

Buying Fruits

Buying fruits … well for this autism girl it’s so hard. Because I littery count everything, and I ONLY buy fruits in pieces of 2,4,7 or 11.

When I need like 1 mango (to make some coockies) I always need to buy 2.

For the lychee I had to buy 11 (yes already ate one), because more it’s not right in my head. The were kind of cheap for lychee, so I could bought more but my head said ” STOP, only 11″.

Yesterday I wanted some oranges, 3 would be okay (because I don’t eat that everyday) but NO again I needed to buy 4 pieces.

I even count my bananas when I buy them. I just can’t go home with 5 bananas.

Here in Belgium most apples are packed in a set of 6. So that’s always a huge problem. Buying 6 apples is so wrong to me.

When I need like 1 advocados and there’s only one left in the store ? I just can’t buy that one piece, I need the option to buy 2. Buying that one piece that was left, is not done for me. It gives me so much stress !

Buying other things by number?

Yess, most of my grocery shopping I buy with numbers in my head. I needed a pack of corn pasta (good for a week) but NO again I had to buy 2 packs, same with pasta sauce.

That’s the same when I need some cat food for my sweeties. I have 2 cats so I always have to buy 2 pieces of food or 4 pieces.

So one week I have a long list of items to buy (because I need to buy more than I need), and the other week it’s a short list with mostly fresh things on it like vegetables.

Question for other people on the spectrum?

Do you also have to count things before buying them in a supermarket? Do you have tips to survive this bizzy days at the supermarket to buy fresh vegetables of fruit?

Everytime I see people that are looking strange when I count every piece I buy.  Beeing on the autism spectrum I have so much problems with grocery shopping. When I’m going to a supermarket on my own (like before work) I need my in-ear headphones to me calm and not freak out about everything around me.

This blogmas is coming to an end, and I still like the idea of daily  blogging 🙂

Love Lucy xx

 

 

Blogmas 19 … Spending Christmas in bed?

Skipping Christmas this year?

The closer Christmas is coming, the worst my pain is getting.

Yesterday I had a day off but it was a day full of appointements with psychiatrist and psychologist and a stop at my workplace. A day where I took one bus after the other, and was so tired at night.

Today I also had a day off, and most of my day I spend in bed. I had so much pain again, after a bizzy day.

Now I just finished writing 16 christmas cards (see blogmas 18) and now I have to write this blog with one hand. I can’t use my right hand at the moment 😮 So shocking, another stadium in my pain ???

This blogmas will be a short one, because I’m going to bed after taking some more pain killing pills. (hope they work !)

Tomorrow I’ll make an appointement to see some doctor specilalized in rheumatism or fibromyalgia. This is not normal for a 32 year to be in bed all day. Okay, my autism could make me tired, but this pain is so intense and so worse.

But first … tomorrow is a bizzy day. In the morning I have to take a bus to Mechelen for an appointement, after that I have to be at work at 11.30am to start a (I GUESS) a very bizzy day at work. Guess most people will be hunting for Christmas presents, when the kids are out of school.

In the evening I have to go to my dentist again. Glad that toothache is better and my tooth can be filled again !

So I’m sorry if I’m not able to write a blogmas tomorrow 😦 

On Thursday I have another workday, a full one. On Friday I have a day off, but I guess I’m going to spend it in bed watching ‘Fuller House’.

See you all later, hope with less pain !

Love Lucy xx

Blogmas 18 … Christmas Cards

The time of year to write, write and write some more cards

These days it’s so easy to send a digital Christmas card. You go to a site, choose a card and a few minutes later that person have received your card.

For me it a total NOOOOO !

I absoluty don’t like this unpersonal way of sending a card with wishes to colleagues, friends. Please note that I don’t have such nice family to write a personal card to 😉

Normally Christmas cards costs around 5-6 EUR for 10 pieces. This year I needed a lot of cards, so I would be around 20 EUR for some cards 😮 Very Shocking !

Since a few weeks we have a low budget store kind of next to my workplace. Kinds kind of great to buy cheap stuff for christmas or DIY. Last week I was in the Action (name of the Dutch store) and I found these really cute cards with puppies and kittens.

They were so cute and looked even better than the ones of 5 EUR I saw in store earlier. These cards were 0,69 EUR for 14 pieces ! Wow That’s a good price !

I make my cards some more personal with handlettering inside.

Here are my cards for this year to give to my colleagues, ex-colleagues, doctors and friends.

Christmas doens’t have to be that expensive and take a lot of your budget. In a store like Action or The Dollar Store, you can find great stuff for christmas.

Real cards or digital cards?

Who else like to get some real cards? Or do you prefer some digital cards in your mailbox?

Love Lucy xx

Blogmas 17 … lazy (painfull) Sunday

December 17 … week week till the Holidays

So today I had a day off. Yesterday was a bizzy workday but a great one. Like every story I have to post, I have some terrible pains everywhere.

If I work a day, I need a day to be at home and do nothing. Just laying in bed, and sleep.

But today my family had some more plans for today, so it was a very hard day.

Now it’s 8pm and the pain is just killing me, even while I’m writing this blog. My hands are thick and I have a terrible headache.

My plan for this evening was to write a blogmas about my favorite songs, but that I just can’t do at the moment. This autism girl wanted to write a blog tonight so that’s what I’m doing right now.

Tomorrow I have a day full of plans so I hope it will be okay and feeling better tomorrow.

So pain, what kind of pain do I have?

  • A lot of pain everywhere in my body and some tender points
  • Spots where I have more pain and more pressure
  • Fatigue (all day long)
  • problems with sleeping
  • a lot of concentration problems (not knowing what day it is, what I have to do or what people told me like 5 minutes ago in the store)
  • anxiety and feeling a bit of my “old” depression symptoms feeling coming back
  • every moring I have stiffness
  • numbless and tingling everywhere like my hands, knees, legs, arms
  • migraines, headache one is just over and I have another one
  • problems with my stomach
  • painfull eyes
  • and bigger neck lymph

Dr. Google?

Like many others, there’s always dr. Google. Not a good idea, because I’m freaking out when I’m searching on those symptoms.

I went to my doctor for a test to see if I had rheumatism or not. The results were negative. So he gave me some more vitamins, magnesium and iron tablets. I had to take them for a month or 2 months.

But now after a month I don’t feel any differents. It’s so sad that I have to say that the problems are getting worse.

Fibromyalgia

After searching on those symtoms I get so many results from the internet that are saying ‘fibromyalgia’.

As I’m a girl with autism I have like always tensions of all the stress I have all day in like every situation (working, going grocery shopping, taking a buss, going to the city). All that tension could make things worse.

The last thing I want is a long time spending in the hospital for doing some more test or spending days there to found out what’s wrong. Not knowing what will happen with me that day, always freaks me out.

So now I don’t know what to do. I really love my job and I just don’t want to give it up or stay at home because of all the pain. I only have 3 months left there at my work place and I want to spend those months at work and not in a hospital.

Christmas and Holidays?

This year I don’t have plans for Christmas eve, or the year ending. Besides that I have to work December 30 and 31. Guess I will be in bed on December 31 at 9pm like always 😦
While all my facebook is having a party I’ll be at home, in bed watching a movie or just sleeping.

On Christmas day I a family diner in the afternoon. But if I have so much pain and if I’m so fatigue like today. I guess I’ll be just in my room and watching a movie on Netflix. I don’t have the best family for parties. The make always so much noise and they always give me so much headache.

For you?

So I hope you all have amizing holidays this year and great parties !

One day …

One day, I hope that I can life a happy life without this much pain. That I found a really good doctor that give me some advice on how to life with this pain.

Love, Lucy xx

Blogmas 15 … Ugly Christmas Sweater day

Ugly Christmas Sweater day

 

# 1 … Divided by H&M

So today was THE ‘ugly Christmas Sweater day’ ! From this day, for me it’s okay to wear a Christmas jumper outside the house.

Over the past years I have bought a few Christmas jumpers, but never really liked them to be comfy wearing them outside.

This year was so different ! I bought 2 Christmas jumpers I just really like. Yesterday I bought the one I really love (or just adore).

Since a few weeks I love this jumper, from the day it came online. It’s from Divided by H&M.

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After buying this yesterday I even more in love with it.

It’s a black jumper (not a sweatshirt), it has a cat on it, has the christmas lights (which look like the Osborn lights from Hollywood Studios in Walt Disney World).

So today I wore this beauty to work, and I really felt amazing ! I was so cute, and it has the Christmas vibe all over it.

Now it’s in the wash, but can’t wait to wear this again next week to work !

It’s going to be sad when Christmas is over and I can’t wear it for the rest of the 350 days to come 😥

# 2 … Only by Bestseller Group

Earlier I bought an other Christmas sweater. I bought this the day the sales assistant were putting it in the Store ‘ Modemakers’.

It’s from the Bestseller Group brand ONLY, one of my favorite brands! Actually I love every brand from the Bestseller Group, like Vero Moda, Jacqueline De Yong, Vila Clothes and Pieces.

This knitted jumper is from Only

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This one is on my list to wear tomorrow with a black skinny jeans or maybe my black leather skirt of shorts.

Hohoho Merry Christmas !

Rudolf the BLACK nose reindeer ! 

And YOU?

How many Christmas sweaters do you have? Did you wear one today on ‘ugly Christmas sweater day’?

Oh, what did you think of my 2 choices for jumpers this year (the cat from H&M and the reindeer from Only)?

 

Thanks for reading another #blogmas tonight!

Love Lucy xx

Blogmas 13 … What I’ll be watching on Netflix

Sorry, so sorry that I couldn’t write my yesterday’s blog ! It was a long workday (sold a lot of shoes) and I had (still have) a very terrible toothache. 

What will I watch the upcoming week?

Most of you bloggers are having a top 10 with favorite things to watch this christmas season.  I also have a top list of things I have to watch this Holiday season.

I’m not that girl that goes to a theater to watch the big movies that are coming out ! So here no Star Wars movie on my list, or others. I really like movies I can watch at home, in a quiet place where I don’t have to be stress with all the sounds of drinks and popcorn of others.

Ready? Let’s found out which one.

# 1 A Wish for Christmas

This movie I really want to see again, really loved it last year. I’m a big fan of Lacey Chabert.

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# 2 A Christmas Prince

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For this one, I’m not that enthousiast. I just want to see it because everybody is talking about it. I’ll let you know how it was.

# 3 Every Christmas has a story

I started watching this movie a few weeks ago, but I fell asleep. So this is one thing on my list to see, and see the whole movie in one time.

In Full House and now Fuller House I always liked Lori, since I was a kid and I saw here the first time. So this movie I can’t miss this season.

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# 4 Olaf’s Frozen Adventure … oh and Frozen

Now with all the commotion about the part of Frozen before the movie Coco, I really want to see this Frozen Adventure. Sorry, but I just can’t spend 9 EUR for a movie where I get nuts of all the noices and I only want to see the Frozen part. Coco is something I want to watch for the first time at home.

Next Saturday the 23th, a television station here in Belgium will show Olaf’s Frozen Adventure on TV. So I can record this and watch it when I’m alone or just maybe watch it when it’s showing that evening.

After the Olaf’s Frozen Adventure, this tv station will also show the original Frozen movie. I also recorded this one, for when I’m alone here, my other family will not be happy when Frozen will play.

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And the ONE thing I REALLY REALLY want to see the upcoming week is

Fuller House

The last thing I want to watch the upcoming week, well Friday the 22 December!  I have a day off, so I hope it’s on Netflix in the morning here so I can watch this all day long in PJ’s. Would be nice to relax, drink hot cocoa and eat some waffles and watch Fuller House.

I watch every episode when I was a kid, was a hugh fan of Lori (Becky). Even when I couldn’t speak English, I could say some quotes from the episode by heart. Very strange, but that’s maybe my autistic part.

Unfortually I lost that. When I see a movie or follow a show on Netflix I always forget it, or I forget the important stuff so I have to re-watch a half episode before playing the next one.

But for now … I can’t wait to watch FULLER HOUSE !!!!

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Love Lucy xx

My Christmas wishlist … PLEASE READ ALL !

I making a list, and checking it twice ….

Like so many of you, you write down all the things you like to get from Santa for Christmas. 

Well, here is my list … PLEASE see all THREE pages below. The most important thing to read is on the last page 😉 Thank you !

 

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Some new Timberland boots, a new handbag, new Dr.Martens (high ones and low ones), giftcards from Zara, etc. or a new Canon Powershot for my blog …

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Oh yess, I have more on my list… Don’t be freaking out, here is the rest of my list.
Please read the next page of what I really want from Santa !

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I hope you all know now what I really want for Christmas this year. No fancy presents, just some more RESPECT from the world around me. 

Please ignore my drawnings and handlettering … it’s not easy to drawn and write with a very painfull and tick hand 😦

Many Regards, Love Lucy xx

 

Blogmas 1 … Perfect weather for a hot chocolate milk

The last countdown to Christmas is here, it’s December 1st! I can’t believe how fast the past weeks went by.
First time I try this but I really love the idea of writing a blog everyday of the month.

 

Well, let’s start with the first BLOGMAS of this year !

Blogmas

December 1, 2017

Yesterday we had the first snow here in Belgium. I was really surprised by the amount of snow that fell in the afternoon while I was at work. I really love the snow, watching it fall down makes me happy.

When I see snow, I instant think … HOT CHOCOLATE !

Oh yeah, this autism girl really has a big love for chocolate milk. Every morning I drink  a glass of Oatly chocolate milk. I just can’t start my day without chocolate milk.

For my hot chocolate I’m a big fan of the Nesquik powder to put in my hot milk (most of the time hot Oatly milk).

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Last year I bought this little box for my hot chocolate in March, I guess. In this box I had some leftover because the weather started to be very good here, way too good for drinking a hot chocolate milk.

This year I bought the ‘dark chocolate’ version of Nesquik to give it a try. This one…

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But honestly I didn’t like this powder. The taste is a bit strange and it doesn’t taste like my normal chocolate milk. Yess, here we go. This is a very negative thing about having autism. If it doens’t taste like i’m used to, than it’s a NOOOO.

Normal people with autism doesn’t like to try new things, but I do. I can change the brand of a product I used to or in this case try the other product of the chocolate powder. Honesty, most time I don’t like the change and I’m back to the brand/product I’m using for ages now.

Yesterday I was in the Lidl store here in my area. That dark chocolate powder of Nesquik was not good for me. So I needed another powder because I really wanted a hot chocolate milk.

In that Lidl store I found this chocolate powder, so I bought it. (the monkey took my attention, I have to admit)

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Tonight I’ve giving this powder a try by making me a hot chocolate milk with some hot Oatly oat milk.

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OMGosh this was soooooo good. It was like drinking a nice glass of Oatly chocolate milk but than a hot milk.

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It’s such a good powder for chocolate milk. Oh yummie yummie.

One thing is clear now … from now I will always buy this powder insteat of the all know Nesquik. I’m getting a Lidl fan here, since we have a brand new store.

So wasting by trying stuff I’m not like?

Well, no I’m not wasting the product if I don’t like. I give it to family who likes it of want it. Like this powder of Nesquik, I will make hot chocolate milk for when my family comes over (maybe it’s better with normal milk for me).

If I buy another brand of cookies, muesli, etc and I don’t like it … well some animals here at home are happy with it.

At this moment, I think I’m giving some other products from Lidl (#lidl Belgium) a try. I will be good for when I’m moving in February. Now I have to go to a few stores to find the products I need. It will be so good to just have to go to one store and a store for catfood.

Going to a supermarket is so stressfull for me. I always have to take an extra piece of medication before I go and I have to take something for my headache when I get home.

Less stress, hopefully less pain and a better life with autism.

And you?

What’s your favorite brand to make a hot chocolate milk?

Lidl?

Do you guys have a Lidl supermarket near you? What are some other products that are worth trying?

Blogmas … till tomorrow!

I hope you all like my first blogpost of Blogmas this year. Please like if you liked it and please RT my blog on Twitter and Bloglovin.
Thank you !

Tomorrow I have to work the whole day because we have a sale in the store, specially for ‘Sinterklaas‘. The 6th of December is a Childerns day when they get a lot of present and chocolate. More about that later, first I have to survive my workday with a lot of pain. Hope it will be a good day.

Thanks for reading !

Love Lucy xx

Christmastree … time to decorate

Sorry … only in English

Oh Christmastree, oh Christmastree

Since I saw a Christmas musicvideo on Youtube, I’m heaving the Christmasspirit. What’s better than a christmassong ? Well a Country christmassong. 

Today, Tuesday, I had a day off. Besides I have pain in whole my body, I found it was the time to decorate the christmastree.

Christmasornaments

Over the past years, I’ve been collecting Disney ornaments when I visited Disneyland Paris or Walt Disney World. I build a great collection, whish means I now have 7 (yess 7 !!!) banana boxes full of Disney ornaments going from Mickey through Tangled, Frozen, etc.

Decorations enough to fill almost 5 trees like the one I have.

Last year I decided that I wanted a different style and not a Disney Christmastree like the past years.

So last year I went to different stores and bought a decorationcollection that I really love. The important thing about the new decorations was … it’s CATPROOF.

Today I decorated my christmastree with the same ornaments like last year, another catproof tree.

Maybe one day when I move out I will sell all my Disney ornaments because I guess I’m never going to use them again.

White and wood

The theme for my Christmas tree is white and wood, fluffy and cute. I only have a few real balls but the other ornaments are reindeers and foxes.

Let’s start the decoration

Lights and the ‘fake’ tree

Ornaments

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First steps … the lights

Finished tree

Details of all the decorations

Decorations with the lights on

And yours ?

I know it’s just a basic christmas tree and not that beautiful like some of your christmas trees.

My autism makes me do just decorate the basic stuff like the lights and the ornaments. I can’t spend a lot of time on decorating the tree. For this tree I only spend less than 30 min (set up included).
Today I have also a lot of pain so it’s difficult to use my have and to stand very long.

So what do you guys think of all the reindeers? Did you set up your Christmastree already?

Hope you all liked it, and thanks for reading my blog !

Love Lucy, xx