After a break … I’m back with the blog

“Life is a blog, everyday you write a new story”

With this quote in mind I started this blog, in the summer of last year. To write about my personal feelings on beeing on the spectrum and getting some bad comments about it.

Even now I get reactions ‘you’re not Autistic, you don’t look like the dude from Rainman’. Well, I’m on the spectrum but I’m totally different than ‘Rainman’. I can communicate, I just love fashion and shoes, I’m in with what’s going on with life around me, I can you shopping and pick something that’s fits me, I can clean, I can cook (with recipes), etc…

BUT

I have problems fitting in when I’m the new one, I can’t make new friends without sharing a big love for shoes or Disney(Land), I need a lot of lists, a good planner, can’t stand in a waiting line, can’t go to concerts, can’t work in an office with a lot of people … and the list is kind of never ending.

The past months were like crazy. Moving out, working all summer, getting a dog to stay for a week, now getting a cat, while I still have mine at my parents home.
So yeah, a lot of changes, and a lot of changes will still come in the next weeks. But HEY I can handle this !

With that said ….

Welcome to my blog, or welcome back to read some more stuff about fashion, lifestyle

Moving out …

So beeing here on my own with a cat called Tijger (he’s the gast and react like he’s the king of this house), is very nice.

The first 2 months were kind of hard, but now with this cat in the house I finally can call this home my home.

The only thing needed in my house was a cat, not the furniture !

Country music all day long, drawning, just having some more me space is really nice after 30 years 🙂 !

So for the future things look great here, never thought I would say this out loud or just put it here on my blog.

Work

I’m now without a voice at the moment. That really sucks ! I miss work, really want to work but I can’t till Monday. My voice is better, I can go outside but I just must avoid little kids because they could get it too. The ironic thing … while helping a sick kid in store last week I have to stay at home all week.

Yesterday I went to do some grocery shopping, because I needed some precious fresh air. Well yeah felt so tired after but glad I could you outside and smell the after summer fall weather again !

So next week I can’t wait to go back to work before I’m on vacation for a week. I kind of really really really love beeing a shoeseller and give people advice about their shoes.

Like this season when Dr. Martens are back in fashion and the Fila Disruptors. Oh the good old 90s are back !

Wearing the Buffalo boots or shoes again this season … well I still love them but I’m not convinced yet. I have ordered a pair at work but really don’t know untill I fit them.

Oh yess, doing your passion every day you can go to work. What is better than that ! Nothing can beat the amazing feeling I have when working in that incredible team!

The past days

So while beeing sick I managed to go grocery shopping. Okay I was grumpy because it was too crowded and off course had to go twice as I forgot some things.
Even with a list I forget things when there are a lot of people in the store.

I even went to Ikea just to pick up some items I really miss in my new house. Everytime I was cooking or baking I had to invent because I was missing the equipement in the kitchen like big spoons etc.

Guess most childern where out of school and had the same idea to go to Ikea. OMGosh. Luckely I had a list and only took everything on the list but I was so happy to be home.

Here are some pictures of the new Ikea store we have here at Zaventem, Belgium. The recently redecorated the store and it really looks beautiful but it’s such a different not knowing where everything was.

The large 3 sit couch is still on my wishlist 🙂 even as those lamps for 12,99 each. Guess I need around 20 lamps like that so budget wise it will still be on the list for a while.

Eating HEALTHY

I needed some fysio for my right hand because the pain kills me everyday. I have fibromyalgia, but this was apart from that.

So my fysio told me to stop eating carbs, stop eating sugar and quit drinking cola zero. Sorry for the Coca Cola Company but I almost drank 2L of that soda everyday 😮

I started with small steps on September 17, had a bad day September 20 when I had an event at work, but ever since that one bad day I made it to live without sugar, carbs, and most of all without Coke Zero. OMG is that last one such a positive influence on my budget at the grocery store.

Lost about 4kg, but I can’t really see the difference yet. I guess that will come in a few weeks when I’m totally off all those products !

Today was another bad, cheat, day. I went away for the day to shoot some pictures and ended up at Mc Donalds. I took just a normal hamburger with a bacon and cheese salad. Well, okay it’s not good. It’s wel better than eating a Big Mac, a hamburger and a large Coke Zero (no fries, as I hate fries ! yess living in the land of fries and I hate them).

For dinner I still have some leftover pumpkinlasagne, like the way Steffi Vertriest made it. Very good, and lots of pumpkin. Totally love to eat pumpkins every single day.

Let’s end this blog

I’m so proud of myself to renew this blog. I had a premium account here on wordpress but I made the discission to go back to the free one. The last months I hadn’t had much energy to put in this blog. Now I got the free version again I’m totally back.

The lay-out looks nothing like my style but this temporary.

So I really hope you all liked reading this blogpost, and I hope that you will come back to my page for more. If you want you can also like my blog and set it in your favorites.

For more frequent and daily updates on life and on fashion/shoes … please check out my Instagram page @autistccountry

Now blog, means a new ending to this posts …. I can now close every blog with a little note and using my real name insteat of Lucy. NOW i’m ready to share this with the whole world !

Liesbeth, it is !

So let’s end this in a good way…

Lot’s of love and have a great weekend xx Liesbeth

 

 

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How to deal with BAD NEWS … RIP KATE SPADE

About 2 hours ago I got the terrible news on my Facebook news page … KATE SPADE has died.

What ? How ? I’m still so shocked about the new that one of my idols has past away. This is just to hard at the moment to deal with it.

Kate Spade by Fox news

I just can’t realize that she’s really gone. Suicide or not … it’s just horrible.

It will take a while for me, #aspiegirl, to deal with this. Saying goodbye is so hard, even when it’s about people I don’t know personaly. She was such a great designer, such a great artist, and my idol.

Well, at this moment I’m glad I still have therapy myself to deal with everything in my life … because the OLD me would just go to  the website and grieve by buying so much of her bags. Now I learned that buying when grieving is not okay, but now it’s harder to sit here alone at home. (with the whole internet talking about Kate)

I just have to be strong and not shop till I drop, otherwise therapy isn’t worth the money. And it’s already costing me more than a pair of shoes everymonth. Like 180 EUR every month is a lot, so got to be strong ‘I NEED TO DO THIS IN A GOOD WAY’.

Going to try to do some handlettering about Kate Spade later. I will sure miss here, and hope she will live further by her brand, her bags, her creativity.

How do you handle the bad news you get? This is getting me so hard right now. And that while yesterday a car was found in the river here in my area, with a far family member that has past way in the water. Shocking day here in this small village, but the news about Kate is getting me so much harder. Guess you all think it’s wrong, but it’s just the way I feel right now. Maybe it’s the part of my autistic brain that is having difficulties because it’s happened so close to me, and trying to get over it as quickly like most people here around me. Strange, but don’t know the answer sadly 😦

Love Lucy xx

Just an update on my life

So my last blogpost I wrote at the end of March. So scary to find out that it was that long ago.

Well, I also have to admit that there was some few things not going well the past weeks. I thought to give you all an update, and tell out about the next coming months.

Autism, my side effects on life

Being on the autistic spectrum disorder, is (for me) having some issues on just dealing with daily life. It’s kind of hard to find a good balance between worklife, personal life, and social life.

I work a parttime job, most weeks around 20 hours a week, to find some rest in my head. But I really can’t find that rest and peace in my head as I was expecting it would be.

Now I’m kind at the hedge of having a depression again, but now I have some great help from the start to deal with it.

All the stress of daily life, going to work, work with a lot of people, building a house, going to the city (to see the psychologist) and not allowed to go to the shops, having a lot of musscle pain, having psoriasis on my head (and eyebrows) … like how much can one person handle?

For me it’s just so hard to find a right middle on all those things that makes me happy.

Psoriasis

So since September I’ve been diagnosed with psoriasis, and it’s based on my head and now also on my eyebrows. It’s so horrible.

Like it’s so painfull to dye my hair, and it’s even forbidden. NO DYE my hair, so all the grey hairs will be everywhere 😮
Yess, that’s reality when you are over 30 years, so sad.

All those emotions on the treatment, the special products I have to uses daily, the stress of making time for it everyday. And for what ? I will always be under a lot of stress because of my autism, and stress is the main factor on making psoriasis worse.

Like it’s an endless circle.

Muscle pain

Since a few months/years (I’m bad with times) I have some serious pains everywhere in my body.

In the hospital (where I had an appointment for my psoriasis) they told me to go to another doctor who’s specialised in reumathism, and artritis.

With that doctor I had an appointement in march, just a 10 minutes talk. I had to go back to the hospital to do some tests which I did on the 20th.

A few days later I got the results and she told me nothing was wrong and that was it. No further tests, no appointment to talk about the results … just nothing. I was so angry, and had so many emotions going on I couldn’t place.

My normal doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, all think I have fibromyalgia but in the hospital they would do further tests … I really hate it when thinking about it.

So now I got some telephone numbers of other reumatologists in my area to go for a second opinion and some more tests.

AND HERE’S THE PROBLEM NOW

I got some telephone numbers, I mean telephone numbers ??? Like I hate to call people, I hate to call doctors and tell everything over the phone. Searched all the internet for some more details, but it looks like that doctor only have a phone to contact her. So now I’m under some more stress to call them next Tuesday. Today is impossible, because I’m just not ready.

How I see the future?

These days I’m having high stresslevels because soon I’ll be moving out, and will be living on my own. A whole house just for me, a new neighbourghood, new people, new way to go to work, new busses, new sounds, … Everything will be NEW !!

I really hate changes, I really hate the word NEW (not when it come’s to new shoes, but that’s something different, right). Shoes are my thing, the thing I like, the thing I can talk about for hours, or just look for new styles for hours. Oh boy, here I go again talking about shoes, so sorry! 

So the next few weeks will be filled with all new things, a lot of stress, a lot of pain (headaches, muscles pains), a lot of work in the shoe store, moving my things, figuring out what it will be living on my own and with a budget.

That last part will be such a hard thing to deal with, paying for everything while I work parttime and have to pay my house, and all the monthy costs with only one small paycheck.

Most of the days I think I can beat my emotions and think the future will be so good, but other days I’m getting such depressed feelings about it and feelings of giving up. I’m getting back to the ‘one moment I feeling happy and one moment I feel down’ period.

BUT like I said now I have a whole team who’s there for me, and hope you will be here to reading my story and helping me out.

Thanks for reading !

Greets Lucy xx

 

Why I didn’t write on my blog this past month?

Well, it’s quite shocking for me to see that me last update on my blog was on February 19. It were some very hard 4 weeks to handle everything that was happening in my life … thinking about ‘my autistic life’. 

Here’s some more details about what happened and what is still going on with me today.

Health 

Beeing on the Autistic Spectrum gives me a lot of stress every single day is a struggle. That high level of stress everyday is making my psoriasis on my head very bad. Sometimes I just want to stay inside forever. When you just took a shower and your hair is still dirty, that’s just horrible.

Besides that I also have some rheumatism pain in my hands, fingers, wrist, shoulders, knees, toos and ankles … oh and neck aswell. I can almost say everywhere in my body. Like today I woke up at 2h30 pm this afternoon and still havinging the feeling I want to be in bed.

Working 2 days in a row is so painfull and that is killing me the days after. At work I just take some medication to stop the pain for a few hours, but later at home I feel like crap.

Next week I have some doctor appointments in the hospital to do some tests to check if all my muscle pain is coming from my psoriasis or maybe it’s fibromyalgia.

Oh yeah, going to some new doctors and doing some tests is giving me so much more stress right now. I just have to be strong the next few days. And just not freak out that I have to work from Thursday through Sunday (4 whole days!).

Work

Normally at the end of this month I was finishing my job at my current workplace. There was not a chance to stay because I was just replacing a colleague who was coming back. No place for me there, so I had to start looking for a new job. Like fulltime, parttime, more hours, extra time to travel to work, waking up at 6am again, etc. Who wouldn’t be freaking out?

It’s like starting all over again and again leaving a place where you love to work.

Last week I got the most amazing news on Monday morning. I was just starting to look for some jobs on the internet, when my boss called. They offered me a new contract starting April 2nd till …. (my pension I hope). I just can’t say how HAPPY I felt that moment.

I closed the computer and stopped looking for some new jobs. A part of my stresslevel went down. I felt so good. Keeping this job was so important, and I’m so glad for this chance they gave me.

Weight

When having this pain I take a lot of pain medication during the days I work. Besides that I also use some cremes for the pain. All those things that I do to stop the pain for a few hours, are giving me some weight gane.

Okay, at this point my pants, dresses etc are killing me. Nothing seems to fit good. So scary 😦 But I will work on a healthy diet again.

Not eating peanutbutter is not an issue. I will never give that up.

At this moment I’m baking a healty pineapple cake. So hope I can keep it healthy the next weeks.

Moving

Well as my house is almost finised, it’s also time to start thinking about moving out. Moving for the first time in my life, for the first time in 33 years I’m leaving this house, this farm. It really makes me so sad, and it’s also giving me some more stress. Oh yess, there it is again … some more stress. Like my life is under presure at the moment, time to break every moment.

I’m already started to paint some wall pink, working on my Ikea Hemnes Bathroom like I dreamed off. Oh and I started to pack at home. That is another hard and horrible thing to do. How can you pack in a few weeks? Well, I can’t, I just can’t.

When I take somenthing to put in a box, I have to think like a 1000 times if it’s the right box, do I need that thing in the next weeks, do I really need this in my new home. Saying goodbye to shoes and clothes that’s not done for me. But I have to do it. I just can’t move more than a 100 pairs off shoes in my new dressing room.

I still need some room and space for the new collection of shoes and bags that will come in the next years as I have to buy some new shoes and bags EVERY season to wear in the store.

Steve Madden is my greatest idol ever, and I just am so proud to be a  shoeseller like him and leaving my dream in a shoestore.

Depression

The past weeks I felt a bit depressed, like life was not worth it. With the help of a great team I finally can say it’s going a bit better. Not there yet but I keep working on it every day.

Having some mental problems is hard, and it’s not better in just a few days. Life is a job where you have to work on it every single day.

Glad I can see those words to myself 🙂

Blogging

I totally missed blogging the past weeks. I was active on twitter and on my Instagram but I will write and spend some more time in my blogging. Hope you will still be there to read my story !

Thank you !!!

Love Lucy xx

 

Just another VANS addict is born

Many years I could resist the trend of Vans, and not buying there Old Skool sneakers. I just was so in love with them, but everytime I said ‘no’ to myself.

I own a pair of old leopard Vans and they were just not fitting correct. So after walking around for an hour they hurted. So that’s the only reason I told myself not to buy a new pair of Vans.

But …

I was still so in love with them

Well, last year I bought my first pair of Vans Old Skool sneakers. Here in Belgium it’s always so hard to find a pair of shoes (trendy shoes) in a size 38. So also with the Vans, they were always sold out so fast in a size 38.

For the moment I saw them in my box (ordered them online at Schoenen Torfs) I was totally in love. I never felt this excited for a pair of shoes.

From the moment I started to wear them, I was in love. Really in love.

A new VANS addict is born

They fit so perfect to my feet, never hurt in the beginning, and I’m so in love with my black Old Skool Vans. They are just perfect with every piece of clothes I have.

After that pair, I ordered another pair and another.

Old Skool with silver

When I saw the pair of black old skool Vans with silver, the new trend for spring/summer, I knew it … those in 38 were mine.

They are just perfect in a different way. I just love to wear them at work and inspire other girls to buy them too (insteat of buying shoes that are now in sale). Why buying a cheaper brand when you can look gorgous with those Vans & rock the world.

So yeah, those Vans are really popular in the store I work. But hey, they are so pretty !

Old Skool pink

From the moment I saw Vans Old Skool sneaker in pink, I planned them on my budget for February. Maybe you remember that blogpost I wrote about what to save for.

Earlier this week I made a reservation to bring over those PINK vans to our store. Online they looked so pretty, so I wanted the ones with the white stripe.

vans-old-skool-roze-skateschoenen-200564-zij-440x440-1504058778

In this way they look so pretty. So today I went to my store to check on them because they arrived.

I was a bit disappounted when I opened the box. The color is different from the color on the picture above. It’s more of a salmon pink and not the pink tone I was hoping for.

img_6607.jpg

So those are a NO for me. They looked cute, but it’s just not the right color of pink. So sad, because I really wanted a pair of pink old skool Vans.

Vans SK8 high sneaker pink and rose gold

Because the pink UGG’s were not that pretty, I spend my coupon to buy me those new Vans Sk8 High sneaker. Last Saturday I received the order, but they were a bit ‘yellow’ on the front. So made a new order for the same ones. (Oh yess, when I love something I don’t give up).

These ones are just so beautiful when I wear them. I feel so pretty wearing them and feel so confident in myself having such beautiful sneakers.

So to VANS … perfect job for creating these beauties !

That pink in combination with the rose gold is so beautiful ! Just perfect. I can see myself wearing these all the time at work or just out. That rose gold is the same tone as my Ted Baker Cat purse. Perfect combination.

IMG_6604

This combination will be my key style for spring

Other Vans for the future?

Oh yess, this girl is in love with VANS right now. OKAY OKAY I might be 32 (33 next Saturday the 20th) years old but hey there’s still no age limit on Vans. Right?

Now I’ll be saving money to buy me that black pair of SK8 high sneakers. That will bring my ‘ROCK CHIC’ image back.

zwarte-vans-sk8-hi-skateschoenen-200561-voor-440x440-1498097053

Black Vans SK8 HIGH sneakers by Schoenen Torfs

Shoes, Shoes, Shoes & Shoes

As I’m having a strick budget (till I know what to do to become a freelance copywriter or blogger, next to my job) I will save all the money I have left to buy new shoes.

It’s now January 12th and I haven’t been inside a clothing store like ZARA, H&M, Modemakers or ZEB. Let’s not talk about my store were I work, because I’ve been there the most of the past days.

My plans for 2018, till I got more money to spend, is saving to buy shoes and only shoes to make my outfit look different. I can still were the clothes I bought years ago, and those I still love (with the studs, and country look) but with other pairs of shoes you can create a total new look with a budget.

My shoes (and Vans) are not that expensive than going to a Zara store and leaving with a 300 EUR bill 😮 *shocking* But yess, going to ZARA was always a total attact to my bank account.

Vans

I had planned to save for some Tommy Hilfiger sneakers, but I changed my plans … I want another pair of Vans.

Hoping Vans will release a pair of KAKI Vans in the future or another pair of bordeaux ones. Really love those colors and they make everything perfect!

Your passion?

As you know, my passion is SHOES & fashion. As a girl with autism that’s the only thing that keeps me going through the days.

Do you (on the spectrum or not) have some passion you live for? A passion you can’t live without?

Love Lucy xx

My life after a 6 day workweek

Time to post the story of my life right now. Most of you will think ” working 6 days, what’s the problem?’.

Well, for me it became a big problem over the years.

Worklife

Monday I worked the last day of a period of long workdays, following each other. Here was my shedule for the last weeks starting on December 29,2017 :

December 29 : workday
December 30 : workday
December 31 : workday (yes most Sundays I have to work)
January 1 : day off
January 2 : workday
January 3 : workday
January 4 : day off
January 5: workday (because my colleague was sick)
January 6 : workday
January 7 : workday
January 8 : workday

So the first 8 days of January I had a fulltime job insteat of my parttime job. It was kind of hard but in the beginning it was all fine. When you love your job, you do it anyway.

Last Sunday my workday became a hard day, so much pain I started to have. My muscles hurt, got a headache at work, stomach ache. But I refused to give up and let people know I was about to die on the inside.

Than Monday came, another day at work. Luckely it was a quiet day in the store, and I could just fill in the new collections. So I was kind of happy. But in the afternoon I had a hard time staying focussed and staying ‘happy’.

The rest of this week

Well, I have a week off till Sunday. I have to say I kind of miss work a lot and really wish I could spend my days in the shoe store.

Tuesday
Tuesday I spend almost my whole day in bed. I had so much pain, no energy, and such a bad headache (beginning of migraine). I was grumpy all day. Around 4 pm I found some energy to make some Cinnamon rolls. My body needed some fat and sugary snack *shocking*

Wednesday
Yesterday I went to my new place because my new fridge was going to be delivered. So I had a reason to get out of bed and do something.
I also went to a thriftstore here in my area, but that was such a bad idea ! I mean everything was so dirty and the smell was horrible.

It’s confusing because a lot of people find really good stuff at such a store but this was not a good one I guess.

Other plans I didn’t had yesterday than eating some Cinnamon rolls. OMGosh I’m not
going to tell you how much of those rolls I ate *shaming*

Today

Today I’m not feeling back the way I should be. Still I got no energy, still I have no reason to put some real clothes on besides my H&M loungewear (and big Zara scarf).

Other plans I have are baking some new Cinnamon rolls for tomorrow. I’m going to my colleagues at the store (because I have some orders there, and I have to make my choice for the black or Silver Ted Baker bag).

Autism & working fulltime

After working that fulltime week last week, I now have so much pain and no energy. A reason for me that my psychiatrist forbid me to work a fulltime job in the future. But this parttime job I have now doesn’t pay all the bills when I moving out.

So the upcoming months will be difficult in finding a new job (and having the risk of beeing very ill there), finding a second job I can do from home, OR ??? That last OR is a big question mark. I really have no clue how I’m going to survive the future while living on my own 😮

The big thing is to make a list, a budget list and finding a way to get more money but in a way that is good for my health and that doesn’t have to give the result of me beeing in the hospital for months (like in the past).

Later more, have a great day !

Love Lucy, xx

So this was my year … 2017

I just can’t believe this … it’s already January 4th. Where did the last 4 days go? It’s going so fast again. *so shocking*

A year full of changes

If I have to discripe my year 2017 with ONLY one word, it will be … CHANGES !

As a girl on the autistic spectrum, I have to say : “I HATE CHANGES”. It’s so hard for me to deal with new things that are coming to me without I asked for it.

So last year was very hard for me. A lot of changes in every part of my life. Here’s some more about everything …

1. Work

At the end of 2016, I got more and more tasks to do at my old office. My work hours and workdays to do all the things didn’t changed. So more work, and more stress.

All that work ended up with longer workdays. I started at my office at 7.30 am and most of the days I left at 5.15 pm. More than I should be there, but there was no alternative.

My old workplace was not in my area, but near Brussels. So in the mornings I had to leave home and take the train at 6.15 am (every single workday). Most of the days I came home at 7 pm.

As I don’t have a drivers licence, I had to take public transportation like the train and the bus. That combination of trains and busses was horrible.

A lot of stress before work of all the people in the train/bus, than a stressy day at work, and going back with more stress because I was always late at home.

In November 2016 most problems started again like the symptons of an autistic burn-out. But in January 2017 I was ready to get some more help, and I was able to have a positive feeling about the new year. I was planning of searching a new job, closer to home.

Than February 2017 came … The announcement of around 70 people will lose their job in March. So horrible. Together with my depression feelings and that new I got very ill (mentally).

In March I knew I was one of the ‘lucky’ people who was going to lose their job in June. When I got the news I was okay with it. About 15 minutes later, when I saw my colleagues I crashed. Than I realized I had to leave all of them behind and leave the work I loved to do.  change # 1

After taking a long break I didn’t had to go back to work, so May 18 was my last day. A month earlier.

During 3 months I got some amazing support from a extern company here in Belgium to find a new job. As an accountant there are still plenthy of jobs in my area, and still receiving invitations for jobs.

I decided that with my autism (together with my psychiatrist and psychologist) I could work a fulltime job in an office the following months. So time for a new plan. I really love fashion and more I really like shoes.

If I had to search for a new job, I wanted to do something where I can share my passion for shoes and fashion with others.  So I went searching for a job as a shoeseller or fashion advisor (I have a diploma ‘fashion advisor’).

After some tests and interviews I found THE MOST AMAZING job in the world. I started to work in my favorite shoestore. I can talk about shoes all day long. I’m now so happy when I can go to work.

This new job (a new big change) change # 2 changed my life in a positive way. I’m so GRATEFUL for the change I got to work for this amazing team of colleagues ! It’s just like working in a store full of family or friends.

Okay … working in a shoestore is so hard when you have less money because you work parttime. You know what I mean … putting a shoelover in a shoestore is like a kid in a candy store ! It’s so hard!

2. Family

Another change in my life last year. In May I had to say goodbye to my grandma. It was so hard, after knowing here my whole life. As a farmers daughter we always were together here.  change # 3

That with losing my job in March was so hard that I crashed at work when I got the message she past away.  But with some great mental help, I had giving it a place. Not having to go back to work was also a great thing.

Now in January I still have some difficult moments, but that’s everything here reminds me of her (she lived her too).

3. Building a house

Can you guess it? Oh yes another big change. After hunting for the perfect house for years, I started to build (let it build by great people) my own house. Just a little house, but it’s all new, and all the things I like are there.

I had to change to create it the way that I wanted it to be. So now I have the outside looking like the grey bricks of the Cinderella castle at Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World.  (will post some pictures later, as it’s not whole finished at this day).

This is change # 4 , and it’s going to be a big CHANGE in this year. Hoping to move out after living here at home for 33 years! I’m now going to move to my own place with my 2 beloved cats.

I hope we can be happy there all on ourselfs (me and the cats).

4. Starting a blog

In January 2017 I started a blog here on WordPress (called AutiLucy) about my life at that moment and all the problems I had living my autistic life.

During all those months I was not that ‘happy’ blog.

I took me till June to feel better and better and started to live a happier life again. Left all my previous problems behind.

So my life changed, got my happy life back. I never felt that happy in years ! I was so done with posting on my old blog, because it was a daily remember of all the bad things that happend the past months.

A fresh start in my life, so a fresh start in blogging ! change # 5

In october I started to use Twitter again to share my daily story with people who were kind to me and were interested in my store. So also a THANK YOU to you reading my blog at the moment. I means so much to me.

Day after day I feel so much better when I can blog. It’s like I found of way to talk to people, to share my story, found somebody to listen to me.

5. Losing colleagues, friends

In 2017 I lost the colleagues I loved to work with. But when going to a weekly appointement of ‘outplacement’ I felt better. Now that all of that is over, I kind of miss them. change # 6

During the months of 2017 I also lost some friends. First they stopped talking to me, but hey I’m over that now.

I have a few friends and now I have the amazing colleagues where I can talk to. Oh now I’m putting ‘have’, hope that in don’t have to put ‘had’ in a few weeks as my contract is almost finished. But I will still go shop there, so will see them for sure.

6. Losing weight

At the end of all the changes 2017 gave me. It also gave me the change of losing weight again. I lost 17 kg from January till August. Just eating healthier, making healthier choices. change # 7

The weight came on because of all the medication I had to take for my depression / autistic burn-out. I still take some of that medication but I eat less and drink more water.

I’m also became a big fan of Noimi Smart and since I have here first cookbook I’m all into eating better.

I stopped eating meat, and trying to eat more veggies.

As part of my autism, I have some problems with eating. I eat things in an order, start my day with the same breakfast every single day. If I liked something to eat, I can eat that for days, till the moment I had enough.

On days I work till 7 pm I don’t eat a warm (good) meal, but now I trying to eat a healthy wrap with spinach.

7. Parttime job, parttime money

After working a fulltime job for more than 10 years, I started to work a parttime job. I was used to buy the things I like. To buy the parfum and make-up I wanted and that was so good, but so expensive (looking at it now).  change # 8

Now I have half the budget, but not half the costs in my life. Guess that part of bills will never change. You always have to pay the bills and bills are still coming. So shocking. But the truth.

Now I have to look at things I want for weeks, plan it, make a budget and safe a lot of money (a lot of money).

Not buying the shoes you like, when you’re working in a shoestore. SO yeah it’s a hard life having a budget. Plan for 2018 is to find a way to get more money but not having to work outside the house for a fulltime job. Doing a parttime job as extra from here at home, that will work for me. No stress of public transportation which made my days so bad.

8. What about 2018?

Well, 2018 will be another year with big changes. But now I feel happy and for the first time I’m okay with all the new things coming my way. Kind of strange to say that I’m feeling okay with changes in my life.

Here are some changes that are coming to me in the next months:

  • some hospital appointements coming soon, and it’s pretty scary for me.
  • can I stay at my job or not? searching a new job or not?
  • decorating my new home
  • preparing my cats to move
  • moving out
  • hospital for some test for fibromyalgia or ???
  • finding an extra job or find a way to become a freelance blogger or writer, or trying to life from my blog. Can’t live my life with less money because of my fulltime job.
  • starting a budget planner to start safe money

Probably more changes coming, but you’ll be the first to know it.

 

I’m ending my blog here. Enough changes to talk about. In every single part of my life I had to make changes.

Love Lucy xx

If you have some tips on how to get more money as a blogger, freelancer, etc from home, please let me know.

2018 … Things I’ll be saving for

So as 2017 is almost over …  it’s time to look forward to 2018. A new year, a new life, a new lifestyle, new house etc.

As an autistic girl I really hate changes in my life/days … so guess 2018 will be so hard.
BUT
That doesn’t mean I don’t look forward to this new year.

As you might know from earlier … I’m a lifestyleblogger on a budget. So now for the first time in my life I really have to plan everything before buying it ! Insteat of just going to ZARA, Schoenen Torfs, H&M etc., I have to wait till there’s enough money in my jar (yess I’ve made a maison jar to collect my money).

Preparing for the new season …

So now were are in the beginning of winter, I’m looking at some collections for the new season. Every year I start buying new collections at the end of january.

I have to admit, that I already bought a pair of new Old Skool Vans (silver & black) in November.

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They are the Old Skool but in a modern version. I really love them, but now I have them at work for when my other shoes hurts during the day.
Vans Old skool Silver

Other things I bought the past weeks are a Ted Baker bag and my gold loafers I wore on Christmas day.

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Golden loafers Marco Tozzi by Schoenen Torfs

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This is one of my favorite items, a black Ted Baker bag with cat ears. The combination of a black bag and this cat theme made me buy it. I bought with a discount, so got it for around 45 EUR insteat of 55,95

SO yeah, it was a great deal. As it’s a plastic bag, the quality is not that great. It’s a very hard plastic, so when you put a lot of heavy stuff in the bag it will brake. Like I did with mine 😥 Offcourse I can take it back to store to get fixed but I’m okay with it, it’s now a collectors item for me.

Sad, this item of the spring and summer collection I can’t use.

Ted Baker, oh yess again

This morning I bought another item from the new spring and summer collection from Ted Baker. In my handbag I have pencils all over it, I never can’t find my pens, and my pencils are always broken.

So insteat of buying new pencils all the time, I thought it was time to buy a pencil case. A good, decent pencil case to hold every pen & pencil and so they won’t brake again.

Ted Baker has a new pencil case (a really small bag) but it’s a hard plastic and super strong to protect my pencils. They were on sale in black and pink.

The pink one I bought this morning…

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The same one in black is on his way to the store. I needed 2 of them, one for the pencils (and drawning materials) and one for my pens.

THINGS I’LL BE SAVING FOR …

So I’ve started to put a list with things I really want for the next season. I went to (a part) of my wardrobe and actually I don’t need that much new summer clothes. With some new shoes and a bag, I can wear them another season.

I can invest in some great pieces, but only if I plan when I’m going to buy them !

Most of the things I saw for the new season, I found online at the online store of my favorite shoe store here in Belgium.

Want to see what’s on my saving list for the upcoming weeks/months?

Here they are … let’s start with some shoes (to make my outfit look new & fresh again), and end with bags to make it more special.

Shoes

In spring and summer I have a hard time to find some great shoes. Mostly I wear my white Converse All Stars and that’s it (wear some other Converse I have in my collection).

For the first time EVER, I mean like EVERRRR, I bought some Vans Old Skool sneakers this year. You might look surprised and have something like ‘WHAAAAAT’? Yess, you found the girl who doesn’t own a pair of Vans !

So this year I bought a pair of black Old Skool Vans, but they are now old and not are looking that great to wear in a shoe store all day. So on my list for this spring and summer, I have on first place a pair of new black ones.

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Other shoes on my list are … VANS. Oh yess, another pair of Vans. Yess, I’m in love with these shoes.

But for this moment, I just can’t decide with type I really want. They are both pink, both looking great but in one way they are different (the white stripe).
So I’m still in doubt about which pair. What do you think? The one with the white or without the white?

Guess the ones with the white are just a little more ‘fresh’ looking for spring?
Vans Old Skool Pink – white stripe
Vans Old Skool Pink – totally pink

The last pair of shoes (after seeing all my clothes in my wardrobe) are the ones below from Tommy Hilfiger. Besides my pair of white Converse, I never owned a pair of total white sneakers.

These are more saying ‘chic’ than the Vans ones which just go with everything. The ones from Tommy I can only wear with clothes I have with something gold.

This is actually the first year I find some really nice summer shoes, that are not Converse or Winter Timberland I wear all year round.

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Tommy Hilfiger – white with golden stars These are the new Tommy Hilfiger I saw in the store. At first look I was not so sure about it, just because of the details. But after fitting them a few times in the store and checking my clothes earlier. I now these would look great with a lot of my dresses and jeans.

So than I have a pair silver Vans to wear with silver jewelry and a pair with golden details to wear with all my golden jewelry.

Handbags & bags

So I’ve told you about the shoes I’ll be saving for the next season.
BUT
I also have some bags I really want for the new season.

I’m not such a hugh fan of handbag, besides my collection of Fossil bags which are totally my favorite ones. I will never throw them away. Fossil isn’t a brand which is sold in the store I work, so I found it hard to wear them to work.

For the summer I found some really nice golden handbags in our store from Kisses of Pearl. But after looking at my clothes I have, the shoes I want. I really I’m not that convinced of buying them.

Guess they will be to classic to go with the converse and the gold will look different on the bag than on the Tommy shoes. And golden handbag will not go with the silver & black Vans I bought earlier.

WOW I’m so surprised of myself ! I’m mostly I’m an impuls buyer, but now I’m really looking to find the BEST piece to wear longer and have longer in my collection than just one season (mostly a couple of weeks). #feelingproud

Ted Baker

Since I have that cat looking handbag of Ted Baker I’m more and more a fan of this brand. BUT I promised myself … if I buy another Ted Baker I’ll invest in a leather one not a plastic for me again!

So today I was in the store and put them in reservation for me. So now I have some time to think about it, think about it, and THINK about it.

First one is this shopper leather shopper bag, but then a black one with pink on the inside. This silver one will have to exact same effect on me as the golden bags I was talking about before. So NOOOO to the Silver bag.

Guess I put one of the last items in reservation because I can’t find the black one on the internet at this moment. So it’s this one but in black and fuxia pink on the inside.
Ted Baker silver shopping bag

This will be a shopper bag to take to work and take my lunch and papers with me. This bag I can’t take with me all day or when I just have to go grocery shopping. I never can’t find my wallet and phone on time when I have to pay (because of all the stuff in collect in such big bags).

For my wallet & phone I bought another little bag. Another Ted Baker bag, and also a leather one.

It’s quite an investment but I think (and I really hope that it’s great quality) and it will be an item I will have for years. Because it’s just going to be a part of me. Curious about the bag?
Well here it is … a black leather CAT bag !

Oh guess I’m a real cat lady, and a big lover of BLACK cats ! Wearing this bag will mean I have my black cat always with me.

I think that this is such a great vallue for my money and worth saving money for. Guess saving will be so much easier when I put a picture on my cards and my jar from this bag. Then I know why I can spend money on clothes, because I really want to have THIS BAG.

Black cat bag TED BAKER

In winter time Ted Baker had another collection with ‘cat’ shaped bags a silver and a burgundy one. Really was in love with them, and I was hoping for them to get on sale. But now they are on sale, I prefer this black one. Black is always a better idea for a bag !

Last season Ted Baker bags…

Everything?

Yess, everything ! This was everything on my list, just 3 pair of sneakers (to wear for the now season at work most of the time) and than 2 beautiful bags. For now this will such a good reason to save money because they are such beautiful pieces!

It will make my outfits as new, and make me stop spend so much money at ZARA (sorry Zara, always love you), H&M, Modemakers (shop here in Belgium) and Zeb (another store here in Belgium).

Now I’m going to print that black cat bag and put it everywhere where I have money !

Winter sale

Okay, officially the winter sales start in Belgium on January 2nd. Great day that I have to work, and can’t go to the sales !

For my new house I need a pair of UGG style boots to wear inside the house, because my stairs is to dangerous to were slippers or slip-on shoes.

So now I’m in doubt about the color of UGG I would buy, I hope I can have those UGG for years (like the pair of grey boots I already have for more than 5 years).

As it’s for inside the house, I’m still thinking about the pink one or the cognac brown ones with the bow. Another investment, as I’m not planning to buy new UGG for the upcoming years !

These are the two I’m thinking about …

 

And you?

Are you already thinking about the new season for clothes, shoes, bags? Or I’m I (again) one of the girls that is to early with planning the new season?

What do you think about the items I’ve been selecting for spring/summer?

Love to read your comments !

Please note that every pictures I used comes from the site of Schoenen Torfs a famous (the best) store for shoes and bags in Belgium.
Guess most of the items I like are also for sale on international sites who will ship to you. 

Love Lucy xx

Blogmas 24 … Merry Christmas !

” It’s the most magical time of year “

Like the song goes ” it’s the most wonderfull time of year “, everybody is having some magical days.

Everybody !

Everybody, the whole world BUT

ME

Weeks before Christmas

Weeks before Christmas, everybody is so looking forward to the holiday season. Planning what to eat on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Planning what to buy for family and friends. Where to spend the holidays, where to go shopping etc.

And than there’s the Christmas tree. Buying a new tree (if it’s a real one), or putting your plastic one again. New decorations or all the decorations you already have collected before?

All those things, give so much stress for me. And really I’m totally not ready to celebrate Christmas or New Year.

Christmas tree

So this year, I was quite early putting my tree up and putting decorations in the tree. I didn’t spend a lot of time, but everybody is loving my tree so I’m happy. I did something good this year !

Here’s a little trowback of when I set my tree up.

Christmas music

I really love Christmas music, like I wrote in my blogmas earlier this week. I can’t stop listening to the Christmas album of Lady Antebellum.

It’s still so great, every time I put it on.

Christmas spirit

I have to admit my Christmas spirit is going off and on, off and on. Some moments I really love all the things about Christmas is coming, other days I can really sit back and wish all those days were over.

Like today … after seeing the lightning parade yesterday I felt some Christmas magic. Today I kind of lost it again. I don’t really have the feeling that it’s Christmas Eve today. Christmas tomorrow, OMGosh !

Christmas Eve

Well, you might guess … I’m sitting here at my table to write my blogmas (blogmas 23 and blogmas 24) insteat of celebrating Christmas with family.

Everyone on my personal Facebook is posting pictures and sending messages of them having a great diner and playing games together. I kind of put away my iPhone for the rest of the evening.

All my friends and family are sitting at a table to have diner and have a great time with each other. Well, I’m here having a ‘great’ time at my computer.

No plans today. I kind of missed not beeing at work. The only thing I did today was thinking, thinking, thinking and sleeping. Really not in the mood and not having the spirit of Christmas.

Most people with autism feel lonely and don’t like the holidays … well I’m one of those pleople.

Grinch

Okay, don’t get me wrong ! I’m not the GRINCH ! I’m not going to steal christmas from everyone. I just having a day and evening like any other sunday.

Maybe next year will be different.

So different this year

Now it’s the first year without my granny to celebrate the holiday, so another reason for me to not like the holidays this year.

I really love things that I know, and things that are familier. Now this year everything changed since my granny passed. A thing this #aspie girl really hates. All those changes, I hate changes in my life.

Christmas Day

Tomorrow some family will come over to eat. They will come around 2 pm in the afternoon. So I have plenthy of time to sleep and take a nap after lunch to clear my head before they come.

They are so loud, and I just don’t like all that hugging and all that kissing. So my plan for tomorrow is to come downstairs later than they arrive so I can skip that part. Hopefully.

The idea that I will not have internet access the afternoon, and I will be stuck at the table, makes my so scared.

Christmas Day outfit

To escape from all the dressing stress tomorrow morning I already put aside my outfit for tomorrow.

I will be wearing my normal black skinny jeans from JDY, black scarf from Zara (if it’s to cold I have something extra).

I will also wear my Christmas jumper by H&M, that I bought a few days ago.

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Meowy Christmas to all of you ! 

For shoes I’m still in doubt. I have 2 options but they are both loafers. I will be chosing between these 2 …

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Golden loafers from ‘Marco Tozzi’, new collection available at Schoenen Torfs (Belgium)

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Gucci look-a-like from Steve Madden, winter collection available at Schoenen Torfs

The party is at my brothers house, so first I have to wear my old Timberland boots to go to all the dirth to get there (new building). So I will wear one of them inside, and maybe I’ll take the other pair with me.

The rest of the day will be hard, sitting there with all the screaming, movie playing, music playing, family talking etc. Maybe I’ll go home between all the food and watch ‘Olaf’s frozen Adventure’ on television.

Or maybe, I’ll come back here to blog, I will see.

But for now …

 

Merry Christmas to all of you !
Have a magical Christmas Eve and enjoy the time with your family and friends!

Love, Lucy xx

Blogmas 10 … the day after

Indeed the day after the big pary ! I wished I could spend it at my job, but I had a day off. So what have I been up to, the day after a long day for an autism girl???

I had sooooo much pain and had no energy

Morning

Arriving around 1.30 am this morning, oh yess it was morning again. So already here I am with blogmas part 10.

I woke up around 8.30am after beeing awake for more than 30 min. I couldn’t stand on my feet, I had to much pain on my muscles to move. So I had to stay in bed for a long time and reading all the new about the new that was coming.

After my pain was getting less I woke up and got some breakfast. Just an oatmeal chocolate milk and bread with chocolate. I was in the moode for chocolate this morning, I needed some sugar !

Plans after breakfast? Well, I went back to bed. I was feeling horrible, had a lot of pain so best plan was to get back to bed for the rest of the morning.

Afternoon

Around noon I had some time to spend with my 2 beloved cats #teddy and #blacky (blacky is the one with all the colors).

I’ve safed them from the snow outside !

When I first let them in, I guess there were singing …

Baby it’s cold outside

Oh I just love my 2 cats, can’t live without them !

OH RIGHT … THERE WAS SNOW ! THE FIRST REAL SNOW IN BELGIUM

Before noon it was snowing so much here in Belgium. It was so beautiful. Why ‘was’? Because it’s all gone sinds 2 pm this afternoon, when it started to rain 😥 So sad, I really like the snow and the cold.

Here are some pictures of our first snow

Looking at my Chirstmas tree and than seeing all the snow outsite was also so pretty. Very quiet I hope we have a white Christmas !

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Getting yesterday’s stuff at work

Also this afternoon, I had to pick up my clothes at work I had wore yesterday. Other things like my black Timberland boots were also there in the kitchen of the store. But it was also great to see my colleagues again after the party of yesterday.

I also went to my favorite store here called ‘Modemakers’. For years I wanted a nice black faux leather skirt.

Always the moments you don’t have the money … all those things you’ve always wanted are for sale in store. Sor horrible. What did I did wrong? Allong with buying the skirt I got a nice big towel for free because I spent over 50 EUR. It will be THE perfect outfit with a black shirt for my workdays on Sunday when I have to wear black.

Oh yeah , there’s a budget FAILURE this moment on my budgetplanner. In one way it was good that I’m going to move in February. Guess I have to look at my budgetplanner and leave my cards at home. I’m going to take a step back from modern technology and start using cash again.

Thinks to REthink about tomorrow. Now this autism girl is ready for bed, having so much muscles pain again and headache is coming. Tomorrow I have a day of, so I’m glad I can sleep a bit longer !

Have a nice evening !

Love Lucy