After a break … I’m back with the blog

“Life is a blog, everyday you write a new story”

With this quote in mind I started this blog, in the summer of last year. To write about my personal feelings on beeing on the spectrum and getting some bad comments about it.

Even now I get reactions ‘you’re not Autistic, you don’t look like the dude from Rainman’. Well, I’m on the spectrum but I’m totally different than ‘Rainman’. I can communicate, I just love fashion and shoes, I’m in with what’s going on with life around me, I can you shopping and pick something that’s fits me, I can clean, I can cook (with recipes), etc…

BUT

I have problems fitting in when I’m the new one, I can’t make new friends without sharing a big love for shoes or Disney(Land), I need a lot of lists, a good planner, can’t stand in a waiting line, can’t go to concerts, can’t work in an office with a lot of people … and the list is kind of never ending.

The past months were like crazy. Moving out, working all summer, getting a dog to stay for a week, now getting a cat, while I still have mine at my parents home.
So yeah, a lot of changes, and a lot of changes will still come in the next weeks. But HEY I can handle this !

With that said ….

Welcome to my blog, or welcome back to read some more stuff about fashion, lifestyle

Moving out …

So beeing here on my own with a cat called Tijger (he’s the gast and react like he’s the king of this house), is very nice.

The first 2 months were kind of hard, but now with this cat in the house I finally can call this home my home.

The only thing needed in my house was a cat, not the furniture !

Country music all day long, drawning, just having some more me space is really nice after 30 years 🙂 !

So for the future things look great here, never thought I would say this out loud or just put it here on my blog.

Work

I’m now without a voice at the moment. That really sucks ! I miss work, really want to work but I can’t till Monday. My voice is better, I can go outside but I just must avoid little kids because they could get it too. The ironic thing … while helping a sick kid in store last week I have to stay at home all week.

Yesterday I went to do some grocery shopping, because I needed some precious fresh air. Well yeah felt so tired after but glad I could you outside and smell the after summer fall weather again !

So next week I can’t wait to go back to work before I’m on vacation for a week. I kind of really really really love beeing a shoeseller and give people advice about their shoes.

Like this season when Dr. Martens are back in fashion and the Fila Disruptors. Oh the good old 90s are back !

Wearing the Buffalo boots or shoes again this season … well I still love them but I’m not convinced yet. I have ordered a pair at work but really don’t know untill I fit them.

Oh yess, doing your passion every day you can go to work. What is better than that ! Nothing can beat the amazing feeling I have when working in that incredible team!

The past days

So while beeing sick I managed to go grocery shopping. Okay I was grumpy because it was too crowded and off course had to go twice as I forgot some things.
Even with a list I forget things when there are a lot of people in the store.

I even went to Ikea just to pick up some items I really miss in my new house. Everytime I was cooking or baking I had to invent because I was missing the equipement in the kitchen like big spoons etc.

Guess most childern where out of school and had the same idea to go to Ikea. OMGosh. Luckely I had a list and only took everything on the list but I was so happy to be home.

Here are some pictures of the new Ikea store we have here at Zaventem, Belgium. The recently redecorated the store and it really looks beautiful but it’s such a different not knowing where everything was.

The large 3 sit couch is still on my wishlist 🙂 even as those lamps for 12,99 each. Guess I need around 20 lamps like that so budget wise it will still be on the list for a while.

Eating HEALTHY

I needed some fysio for my right hand because the pain kills me everyday. I have fibromyalgia, but this was apart from that.

So my fysio told me to stop eating carbs, stop eating sugar and quit drinking cola zero. Sorry for the Coca Cola Company but I almost drank 2L of that soda everyday 😮

I started with small steps on September 17, had a bad day September 20 when I had an event at work, but ever since that one bad day I made it to live without sugar, carbs, and most of all without Coke Zero. OMG is that last one such a positive influence on my budget at the grocery store.

Lost about 4kg, but I can’t really see the difference yet. I guess that will come in a few weeks when I’m totally off all those products !

Today was another bad, cheat, day. I went away for the day to shoot some pictures and ended up at Mc Donalds. I took just a normal hamburger with a bacon and cheese salad. Well, okay it’s not good. It’s wel better than eating a Big Mac, a hamburger and a large Coke Zero (no fries, as I hate fries ! yess living in the land of fries and I hate them).

For dinner I still have some leftover pumpkinlasagne, like the way Steffi Vertriest made it. Very good, and lots of pumpkin. Totally love to eat pumpkins every single day.

Let’s end this blog

I’m so proud of myself to renew this blog. I had a premium account here on wordpress but I made the discission to go back to the free one. The last months I hadn’t had much energy to put in this blog. Now I got the free version again I’m totally back.

The lay-out looks nothing like my style but this temporary.

So I really hope you all liked reading this blogpost, and I hope that you will come back to my page for more. If you want you can also like my blog and set it in your favorites.

For more frequent and daily updates on life and on fashion/shoes … please check out my Instagram page @autistccountry

Now blog, means a new ending to this posts …. I can now close every blog with a little note and using my real name insteat of Lucy. NOW i’m ready to share this with the whole world !

Liesbeth, it is !

So let’s end this in a good way…

Lot’s of love and have a great weekend xx Liesbeth

 

 

Advertenties

All the stress … it’s freaking me out !

So here I’m again … a few weeks past since my last blogpost. The plan of blogging more, is not been a succes over the past weeks.

I’ve noticed I’ve been active more on Instagram by posting pictures of moments during the day but more than that … is a plan that’s kind of frozen right now.

I work only 3 days a week but I have no time to take a break from live, go on vacation, go away for a few days. Every day is filled with stress, and more stress.
So bad it has blocked me at home from doing nice stuff, stuff I really want to do.

But my autistic life has blocked me, and I don’t now how to take the rest I need right now.

Moving day

Well, the biggest factor of stress is the fact I’m moving next week … THE 4THE OF JULY ! As an America lover I needed this date as an officially moving date.

So I still need to pack a lot of stuff, a lot of clothes, my Disney collection and so much more … but I’m totally missing the drive right now. The drive of cleaning out my room and pack the stuff I need to take with me.

Right now here in Belgium the weather is really summer, like 30C degrees and we will having this temperature untill next weekend !

Sales

Since a few days we have the sale started in Belgium. So things I had on my wishing list are now for sale with a big discount. But as I just finished building my own house, I kind of have a budget for shopping right now. This fashionista is having a hard time not be able to buy what I love when I want it.

This gives me so much stress, and it’s so hard to clean my head with all the emotions because I missed that pair of shoes of handbag I wanted to buy 😥

All the mental help I get right now, is not enough so  I can’t wait for my next session in 2 weeks. Hope I’ll be able to survive till July 16.

Cat

My cat has the intention to take a little summer vacation right now. Which is so horrible, knowing he’s somewhere in the fields behind our house and that harvest season started.

Yesterday he came home for some food and water and now it’s already afternoon and still haven’t seen him today. It’s freaking me out but it’s a farm cat so I can’t do a thing about it. He’s used to this life so he can’t live inside the house all day.

Summer trips

Well, as living on a budget I can’t go on vacation to Florida or take another Disney Cruise for the next years. So sad, because I always lived for vacations, the Mickey Way. I’m living close to Disneyland Paris, well it’s “only” a 3,5 hour drive to Disneyland Paris.

Trips are now trips to the seaside here in Belgium, which you can’t call it paradise. The water is durty, too much people, too much buildings, etc.

Last Tuesday we went to Oostende (pictures on my Instagram page @autisticcountrygirl), and it all started with a train delay of 55 minutes (all minutes we extra spend INSIDE the train). We went to the beach, ate some Mc Donalds, and went to see the Mercator Ship before going back home.

I was so stressed out that I needed to see some shops and spend some money. BAD me I know, because I always having a hard time buying stuff I don’t need when stressed out. Luckely there was a Flying Tiger in Oostende, so it wasn’t that expensive.

Other trips

Well, besides moving and sleeping a lot in my new house, I don’t have plans this summer to go on other big trips. Besides a trip to visit the city of Hasselt next week.

Other trips when be spending a day in Mechelen, my absolute favorite city here in Belgium. It’s so pretty, pretty as the big cities as Bruges or Gant but way smaller and so much nicer.

I really like Antwerp a lot, but it’s a big bigger and since there’s a Primark it’s so buzzy when you have to take the train to the city. So I kind of avoid that right now.

The city of Brussels is horrible, I really hate that city. I worked there for 2 years, but I hated every single day. When you visit some shops, most of them are a total mess. All the toeristic things there in Brussels I don’t like, and everything is so far away. Taking the metro is horrible when you have autistic. In Paris I don’t have a problem with taking the metro because it’s logic, in Brussels it’s horrible to find the right metro, tram or bus.

Plans for my blog … in the next days

  • making a blog with pictures from my visit to Planckendael on June 18, for the press event of Toerisme for Autisme in Belgium.
    Planckendael is just 15 minutes away from my house but I haven’t visit it for 21 years !!!
    I’ll explain in one of my next blogs.
  • posting about my favorite styles for the next season. As a shoeseller I have the first views on the new trends that are coming to our store and to the webshop. I’ve been saving some money to spend on the new collections and last week I bought some of the things for next season.
  • Getting my life back together after moving out
  • life when I moved out
  • Summer trips, or events nearby here in Belgium
  • starting to draw again, not easy with fibromyalgie and painfull hands but I can do this

Instagram

If you want to read more on a daily basis from me, you can check out my Twitter (@autisticcountry) or my Instragram (@autisticcountrygirl).

But I’ll make it up here to by posting more blogposts and aswer earlier on you replies.

Thanks for all of you support over the last weeks by liking my posts ! 

Love you all xx

How is life rightnow ? Therapy, therapy, therapy

Well yeah, the never ending story of my life I guess. 

THERAPY

 The whole thing with having autism, having psoriasis, having fibromyalgia, having meltdowns, … got it’s breakpunt reached.

I never stopped therapy sessions with my psychologist, or psychiatrist, but now I’m going a few times more again.

Everybody is saying you have a great job, a great new house, great family … ‘ you can’t have a mental problem’. Well I’m sure have !

For me everything has to be perfect, so it’s so damn hard if you can’t create, can’t drawn, can’t shop like you always have in a perfect way. I can’t color my hair anymore, getting new pills who are making me fat (okay I don’t eat healthy all day but that’s never get’s me as FAT as since I started to take those new pills).

So yesterday, I had an appointement with my therapist and we had a great talk. So she gave me some homework to deal with the next few weeks. One of them is starting to eat healthy the whole day long.

Eating healthy and planning what I’m going to eat the next days is so hard. Because I don’t know what I want to eat tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

Doing some groceries every day, is a total NOOOOOO … so now I have a huge struggle in front of me about food, about making better choises.

I took my favorite cook book by the hand and this evening I started to bake the Bananabread, like NIOMI SMART. She posted a video ‘what I eat in a day’ a few days ago on her YouTube channel, so I was inspired to make that to.

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So here it is! I never get this golden brown look like she has but it’s sooo delicious. 

I now have breakfast for tomorrow. Okay I took  slices as a snack already. I just couldn’t resist. I hope I can eat this tomorrow morning without my chocopaste (I’m still in my eating chocopaste period). So hope I will be okay eating this tomorrow and not having toast with chocopaste.

Tomorrow is a workday, so it’s going to be a salad for me insteat of a sandwich with some good old Dutch cheese.

I have to do this, I have to eat healthy to stay like this and not getting fatter because of the pills. If I don’t do this, and nothing will fit me, than I’ll be back on track with feeling despressed (story of my life, nothing new).

Please be kind and love your support, here on my blog, on my Instragram (@autisticcountrygirl) or Twitter (@autisticcountry).

**** Stay Smiling ****

Love lucy xx
(maybe it’s that time to start blogging under me real firstname soon)

I got my keys

A lot is going on the last past days/weeks, which comes with a lot of stress, a lot of scary moments. Later more about that.

BUT there’s also some good news.

I GOT THE KEYS OF MY NEW HOME

So yesterday was the last day the builders had access to my house to replace things or to do stuff. The last day, because now it’s officially mine.

I’m really happy to have my own place, my own quite place. For me as an autistic girl I really need some quite places for just me. Time to rest, time to take a nap during the day, without beeing told to do stuff.

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Now it’s only some little work that has to be done, like painting the wall upstairs before I can move all my clothes and other stuff.

Now I can go to Ikea and pick all the items I really like to make it mine.

Before I really move I have some bad workweeks coming with a lot of workdays. So guess I’ll be moving around June. Well that’s the plan, you never know what could happen, right.

Well, that’s it for this little blog. Just wanted to share you all the great new I had yesterday, that I have my keys to my new house !!!

Love Lucy xx

Why I didn’t write on my blog this past month?

Well, it’s quite shocking for me to see that me last update on my blog was on February 19. It were some very hard 4 weeks to handle everything that was happening in my life … thinking about ‘my autistic life’. 

Here’s some more details about what happened and what is still going on with me today.

Health 

Beeing on the Autistic Spectrum gives me a lot of stress every single day is a struggle. That high level of stress everyday is making my psoriasis on my head very bad. Sometimes I just want to stay inside forever. When you just took a shower and your hair is still dirty, that’s just horrible.

Besides that I also have some rheumatism pain in my hands, fingers, wrist, shoulders, knees, toos and ankles … oh and neck aswell. I can almost say everywhere in my body. Like today I woke up at 2h30 pm this afternoon and still havinging the feeling I want to be in bed.

Working 2 days in a row is so painfull and that is killing me the days after. At work I just take some medication to stop the pain for a few hours, but later at home I feel like crap.

Next week I have some doctor appointments in the hospital to do some tests to check if all my muscle pain is coming from my psoriasis or maybe it’s fibromyalgia.

Oh yeah, going to some new doctors and doing some tests is giving me so much more stress right now. I just have to be strong the next few days. And just not freak out that I have to work from Thursday through Sunday (4 whole days!).

Work

Normally at the end of this month I was finishing my job at my current workplace. There was not a chance to stay because I was just replacing a colleague who was coming back. No place for me there, so I had to start looking for a new job. Like fulltime, parttime, more hours, extra time to travel to work, waking up at 6am again, etc. Who wouldn’t be freaking out?

It’s like starting all over again and again leaving a place where you love to work.

Last week I got the most amazing news on Monday morning. I was just starting to look for some jobs on the internet, when my boss called. They offered me a new contract starting April 2nd till …. (my pension I hope). I just can’t say how HAPPY I felt that moment.

I closed the computer and stopped looking for some new jobs. A part of my stresslevel went down. I felt so good. Keeping this job was so important, and I’m so glad for this chance they gave me.

Weight

When having this pain I take a lot of pain medication during the days I work. Besides that I also use some cremes for the pain. All those things that I do to stop the pain for a few hours, are giving me some weight gane.

Okay, at this point my pants, dresses etc are killing me. Nothing seems to fit good. So scary 😦 But I will work on a healthy diet again.

Not eating peanutbutter is not an issue. I will never give that up.

At this moment I’m baking a healty pineapple cake. So hope I can keep it healthy the next weeks.

Moving

Well as my house is almost finised, it’s also time to start thinking about moving out. Moving for the first time in my life, for the first time in 33 years I’m leaving this house, this farm. It really makes me so sad, and it’s also giving me some more stress. Oh yess, there it is again … some more stress. Like my life is under presure at the moment, time to break every moment.

I’m already started to paint some wall pink, working on my Ikea Hemnes Bathroom like I dreamed off. Oh and I started to pack at home. That is another hard and horrible thing to do. How can you pack in a few weeks? Well, I can’t, I just can’t.

When I take somenthing to put in a box, I have to think like a 1000 times if it’s the right box, do I need that thing in the next weeks, do I really need this in my new home. Saying goodbye to shoes and clothes that’s not done for me. But I have to do it. I just can’t move more than a 100 pairs off shoes in my new dressing room.

I still need some room and space for the new collection of shoes and bags that will come in the next years as I have to buy some new shoes and bags EVERY season to wear in the store.

Steve Madden is my greatest idol ever, and I just am so proud to be a  shoeseller like him and leaving my dream in a shoestore.

Depression

The past weeks I felt a bit depressed, like life was not worth it. With the help of a great team I finally can say it’s going a bit better. Not there yet but I keep working on it every day.

Having some mental problems is hard, and it’s not better in just a few days. Life is a job where you have to work on it every single day.

Glad I can see those words to myself 🙂

Blogging

I totally missed blogging the past weeks. I was active on twitter and on my Instagram but I will write and spend some more time in my blogging. Hope you will still be there to read my story !

Thank you !!!

Love Lucy xx

 

Just another VANS addict is born

Many years I could resist the trend of Vans, and not buying there Old Skool sneakers. I just was so in love with them, but everytime I said ‘no’ to myself.

I own a pair of old leopard Vans and they were just not fitting correct. So after walking around for an hour they hurted. So that’s the only reason I told myself not to buy a new pair of Vans.

But …

I was still so in love with them

Well, last year I bought my first pair of Vans Old Skool sneakers. Here in Belgium it’s always so hard to find a pair of shoes (trendy shoes) in a size 38. So also with the Vans, they were always sold out so fast in a size 38.

For the moment I saw them in my box (ordered them online at Schoenen Torfs) I was totally in love. I never felt this excited for a pair of shoes.

From the moment I started to wear them, I was in love. Really in love.

A new VANS addict is born

They fit so perfect to my feet, never hurt in the beginning, and I’m so in love with my black Old Skool Vans. They are just perfect with every piece of clothes I have.

After that pair, I ordered another pair and another.

Old Skool with silver

When I saw the pair of black old skool Vans with silver, the new trend for spring/summer, I knew it … those in 38 were mine.

They are just perfect in a different way. I just love to wear them at work and inspire other girls to buy them too (insteat of buying shoes that are now in sale). Why buying a cheaper brand when you can look gorgous with those Vans & rock the world.

So yeah, those Vans are really popular in the store I work. But hey, they are so pretty !

Old Skool pink

From the moment I saw Vans Old Skool sneaker in pink, I planned them on my budget for February. Maybe you remember that blogpost I wrote about what to save for.

Earlier this week I made a reservation to bring over those PINK vans to our store. Online they looked so pretty, so I wanted the ones with the white stripe.

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In this way they look so pretty. So today I went to my store to check on them because they arrived.

I was a bit disappounted when I opened the box. The color is different from the color on the picture above. It’s more of a salmon pink and not the pink tone I was hoping for.

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So those are a NO for me. They looked cute, but it’s just not the right color of pink. So sad, because I really wanted a pair of pink old skool Vans.

Vans SK8 high sneaker pink and rose gold

Because the pink UGG’s were not that pretty, I spend my coupon to buy me those new Vans Sk8 High sneaker. Last Saturday I received the order, but they were a bit ‘yellow’ on the front. So made a new order for the same ones. (Oh yess, when I love something I don’t give up).

These ones are just so beautiful when I wear them. I feel so pretty wearing them and feel so confident in myself having such beautiful sneakers.

So to VANS … perfect job for creating these beauties !

That pink in combination with the rose gold is so beautiful ! Just perfect. I can see myself wearing these all the time at work or just out. That rose gold is the same tone as my Ted Baker Cat purse. Perfect combination.

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This combination will be my key style for spring

Other Vans for the future?

Oh yess, this girl is in love with VANS right now. OKAY OKAY I might be 32 (33 next Saturday the 20th) years old but hey there’s still no age limit on Vans. Right?

Now I’ll be saving money to buy me that black pair of SK8 high sneakers. That will bring my ‘ROCK CHIC’ image back.

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Black Vans SK8 HIGH sneakers by Schoenen Torfs

Shoes, Shoes, Shoes & Shoes

As I’m having a strick budget (till I know what to do to become a freelance copywriter or blogger, next to my job) I will save all the money I have left to buy new shoes.

It’s now January 12th and I haven’t been inside a clothing store like ZARA, H&M, Modemakers or ZEB. Let’s not talk about my store were I work, because I’ve been there the most of the past days.

My plans for 2018, till I got more money to spend, is saving to buy shoes and only shoes to make my outfit look different. I can still were the clothes I bought years ago, and those I still love (with the studs, and country look) but with other pairs of shoes you can create a total new look with a budget.

My shoes (and Vans) are not that expensive than going to a Zara store and leaving with a 300 EUR bill 😮 *shocking* But yess, going to ZARA was always a total attact to my bank account.

Vans

I had planned to save for some Tommy Hilfiger sneakers, but I changed my plans … I want another pair of Vans.

Hoping Vans will release a pair of KAKI Vans in the future or another pair of bordeaux ones. Really love those colors and they make everything perfect!

Your passion?

As you know, my passion is SHOES & fashion. As a girl with autism that’s the only thing that keeps me going through the days.

Do you (on the spectrum or not) have some passion you live for? A passion you can’t live without?

Love Lucy xx

My life after a 6 day workweek

Time to post the story of my life right now. Most of you will think ” working 6 days, what’s the problem?’.

Well, for me it became a big problem over the years.

Worklife

Monday I worked the last day of a period of long workdays, following each other. Here was my shedule for the last weeks starting on December 29,2017 :

December 29 : workday
December 30 : workday
December 31 : workday (yes most Sundays I have to work)
January 1 : day off
January 2 : workday
January 3 : workday
January 4 : day off
January 5: workday (because my colleague was sick)
January 6 : workday
January 7 : workday
January 8 : workday

So the first 8 days of January I had a fulltime job insteat of my parttime job. It was kind of hard but in the beginning it was all fine. When you love your job, you do it anyway.

Last Sunday my workday became a hard day, so much pain I started to have. My muscles hurt, got a headache at work, stomach ache. But I refused to give up and let people know I was about to die on the inside.

Than Monday came, another day at work. Luckely it was a quiet day in the store, and I could just fill in the new collections. So I was kind of happy. But in the afternoon I had a hard time staying focussed and staying ‘happy’.

The rest of this week

Well, I have a week off till Sunday. I have to say I kind of miss work a lot and really wish I could spend my days in the shoe store.

Tuesday
Tuesday I spend almost my whole day in bed. I had so much pain, no energy, and such a bad headache (beginning of migraine). I was grumpy all day. Around 4 pm I found some energy to make some Cinnamon rolls. My body needed some fat and sugary snack *shocking*

Wednesday
Yesterday I went to my new place because my new fridge was going to be delivered. So I had a reason to get out of bed and do something.
I also went to a thriftstore here in my area, but that was such a bad idea ! I mean everything was so dirty and the smell was horrible.

It’s confusing because a lot of people find really good stuff at such a store but this was not a good one I guess.

Other plans I didn’t had yesterday than eating some Cinnamon rolls. OMGosh I’m not
going to tell you how much of those rolls I ate *shaming*

Today

Today I’m not feeling back the way I should be. Still I got no energy, still I have no reason to put some real clothes on besides my H&M loungewear (and big Zara scarf).

Other plans I have are baking some new Cinnamon rolls for tomorrow. I’m going to my colleagues at the store (because I have some orders there, and I have to make my choice for the black or Silver Ted Baker bag).

Autism & working fulltime

After working that fulltime week last week, I now have so much pain and no energy. A reason for me that my psychiatrist forbid me to work a fulltime job in the future. But this parttime job I have now doesn’t pay all the bills when I moving out.

So the upcoming months will be difficult in finding a new job (and having the risk of beeing very ill there), finding a second job I can do from home, OR ??? That last OR is a big question mark. I really have no clue how I’m going to survive the future while living on my own 😮

The big thing is to make a list, a budget list and finding a way to get more money but in a way that is good for my health and that doesn’t have to give the result of me beeing in the hospital for months (like in the past).

Later more, have a great day !

Love Lucy, xx

So this was my year … 2017

I just can’t believe this … it’s already January 4th. Where did the last 4 days go? It’s going so fast again. *so shocking*

A year full of changes

If I have to discripe my year 2017 with ONLY one word, it will be … CHANGES !

As a girl on the autistic spectrum, I have to say : “I HATE CHANGES”. It’s so hard for me to deal with new things that are coming to me without I asked for it.

So last year was very hard for me. A lot of changes in every part of my life. Here’s some more about everything …

1. Work

At the end of 2016, I got more and more tasks to do at my old office. My work hours and workdays to do all the things didn’t changed. So more work, and more stress.

All that work ended up with longer workdays. I started at my office at 7.30 am and most of the days I left at 5.15 pm. More than I should be there, but there was no alternative.

My old workplace was not in my area, but near Brussels. So in the mornings I had to leave home and take the train at 6.15 am (every single workday). Most of the days I came home at 7 pm.

As I don’t have a drivers licence, I had to take public transportation like the train and the bus. That combination of trains and busses was horrible.

A lot of stress before work of all the people in the train/bus, than a stressy day at work, and going back with more stress because I was always late at home.

In November 2016 most problems started again like the symptons of an autistic burn-out. But in January 2017 I was ready to get some more help, and I was able to have a positive feeling about the new year. I was planning of searching a new job, closer to home.

Than February 2017 came … The announcement of around 70 people will lose their job in March. So horrible. Together with my depression feelings and that new I got very ill (mentally).

In March I knew I was one of the ‘lucky’ people who was going to lose their job in June. When I got the news I was okay with it. About 15 minutes later, when I saw my colleagues I crashed. Than I realized I had to leave all of them behind and leave the work I loved to do.  change # 1

After taking a long break I didn’t had to go back to work, so May 18 was my last day. A month earlier.

During 3 months I got some amazing support from a extern company here in Belgium to find a new job. As an accountant there are still plenthy of jobs in my area, and still receiving invitations for jobs.

I decided that with my autism (together with my psychiatrist and psychologist) I could work a fulltime job in an office the following months. So time for a new plan. I really love fashion and more I really like shoes.

If I had to search for a new job, I wanted to do something where I can share my passion for shoes and fashion with others.  So I went searching for a job as a shoeseller or fashion advisor (I have a diploma ‘fashion advisor’).

After some tests and interviews I found THE MOST AMAZING job in the world. I started to work in my favorite shoestore. I can talk about shoes all day long. I’m now so happy when I can go to work.

This new job (a new big change) change # 2 changed my life in a positive way. I’m so GRATEFUL for the change I got to work for this amazing team of colleagues ! It’s just like working in a store full of family or friends.

Okay … working in a shoestore is so hard when you have less money because you work parttime. You know what I mean … putting a shoelover in a shoestore is like a kid in a candy store ! It’s so hard!

2. Family

Another change in my life last year. In May I had to say goodbye to my grandma. It was so hard, after knowing here my whole life. As a farmers daughter we always were together here.  change # 3

That with losing my job in March was so hard that I crashed at work when I got the message she past away.  But with some great mental help, I had giving it a place. Not having to go back to work was also a great thing.

Now in January I still have some difficult moments, but that’s everything here reminds me of her (she lived her too).

3. Building a house

Can you guess it? Oh yes another big change. After hunting for the perfect house for years, I started to build (let it build by great people) my own house. Just a little house, but it’s all new, and all the things I like are there.

I had to change to create it the way that I wanted it to be. So now I have the outside looking like the grey bricks of the Cinderella castle at Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World.  (will post some pictures later, as it’s not whole finished at this day).

This is change # 4 , and it’s going to be a big CHANGE in this year. Hoping to move out after living here at home for 33 years! I’m now going to move to my own place with my 2 beloved cats.

I hope we can be happy there all on ourselfs (me and the cats).

4. Starting a blog

In January 2017 I started a blog here on WordPress (called AutiLucy) about my life at that moment and all the problems I had living my autistic life.

During all those months I was not that ‘happy’ blog.

I took me till June to feel better and better and started to live a happier life again. Left all my previous problems behind.

So my life changed, got my happy life back. I never felt that happy in years ! I was so done with posting on my old blog, because it was a daily remember of all the bad things that happend the past months.

A fresh start in my life, so a fresh start in blogging ! change # 5

In october I started to use Twitter again to share my daily story with people who were kind to me and were interested in my store. So also a THANK YOU to you reading my blog at the moment. I means so much to me.

Day after day I feel so much better when I can blog. It’s like I found of way to talk to people, to share my story, found somebody to listen to me.

5. Losing colleagues, friends

In 2017 I lost the colleagues I loved to work with. But when going to a weekly appointement of ‘outplacement’ I felt better. Now that all of that is over, I kind of miss them. change # 6

During the months of 2017 I also lost some friends. First they stopped talking to me, but hey I’m over that now.

I have a few friends and now I have the amazing colleagues where I can talk to. Oh now I’m putting ‘have’, hope that in don’t have to put ‘had’ in a few weeks as my contract is almost finished. But I will still go shop there, so will see them for sure.

6. Losing weight

At the end of all the changes 2017 gave me. It also gave me the change of losing weight again. I lost 17 kg from January till August. Just eating healthier, making healthier choices. change # 7

The weight came on because of all the medication I had to take for my depression / autistic burn-out. I still take some of that medication but I eat less and drink more water.

I’m also became a big fan of Noimi Smart and since I have here first cookbook I’m all into eating better.

I stopped eating meat, and trying to eat more veggies.

As part of my autism, I have some problems with eating. I eat things in an order, start my day with the same breakfast every single day. If I liked something to eat, I can eat that for days, till the moment I had enough.

On days I work till 7 pm I don’t eat a warm (good) meal, but now I trying to eat a healthy wrap with spinach.

7. Parttime job, parttime money

After working a fulltime job for more than 10 years, I started to work a parttime job. I was used to buy the things I like. To buy the parfum and make-up I wanted and that was so good, but so expensive (looking at it now).  change # 8

Now I have half the budget, but not half the costs in my life. Guess that part of bills will never change. You always have to pay the bills and bills are still coming. So shocking. But the truth.

Now I have to look at things I want for weeks, plan it, make a budget and safe a lot of money (a lot of money).

Not buying the shoes you like, when you’re working in a shoestore. SO yeah it’s a hard life having a budget. Plan for 2018 is to find a way to get more money but not having to work outside the house for a fulltime job. Doing a parttime job as extra from here at home, that will work for me. No stress of public transportation which made my days so bad.

8. What about 2018?

Well, 2018 will be another year with big changes. But now I feel happy and for the first time I’m okay with all the new things coming my way. Kind of strange to say that I’m feeling okay with changes in my life.

Here are some changes that are coming to me in the next months:

  • some hospital appointements coming soon, and it’s pretty scary for me.
  • can I stay at my job or not? searching a new job or not?
  • decorating my new home
  • preparing my cats to move
  • moving out
  • hospital for some test for fibromyalgia or ???
  • finding an extra job or find a way to become a freelance blogger or writer, or trying to life from my blog. Can’t live my life with less money because of my fulltime job.
  • starting a budget planner to start safe money

Probably more changes coming, but you’ll be the first to know it.

 

I’m ending my blog here. Enough changes to talk about. In every single part of my life I had to make changes.

Love Lucy xx

If you have some tips on how to get more money as a blogger, freelancer, etc from home, please let me know.

Blogmas 19 … Spending Christmas in bed?

Skipping Christmas this year?

The closer Christmas is coming, the worst my pain is getting.

Yesterday I had a day off but it was a day full of appointements with psychiatrist and psychologist and a stop at my workplace. A day where I took one bus after the other, and was so tired at night.

Today I also had a day off, and most of my day I spend in bed. I had so much pain again, after a bizzy day.

Now I just finished writing 16 christmas cards (see blogmas 18) and now I have to write this blog with one hand. I can’t use my right hand at the moment 😮 So shocking, another stadium in my pain ???

This blogmas will be a short one, because I’m going to bed after taking some more pain killing pills. (hope they work !)

Tomorrow I’ll make an appointement to see some doctor specilalized in rheumatism or fibromyalgia. This is not normal for a 32 year to be in bed all day. Okay, my autism could make me tired, but this pain is so intense and so worse.

But first … tomorrow is a bizzy day. In the morning I have to take a bus to Mechelen for an appointement, after that I have to be at work at 11.30am to start a (I GUESS) a very bizzy day at work. Guess most people will be hunting for Christmas presents, when the kids are out of school.

In the evening I have to go to my dentist again. Glad that toothache is better and my tooth can be filled again !

So I’m sorry if I’m not able to write a blogmas tomorrow 😦 

On Thursday I have another workday, a full one. On Friday I have a day off, but I guess I’m going to spend it in bed watching ‘Fuller House’.

See you all later, hope with less pain !

Love Lucy xx

I’m doing fine … oh no I’m doing better than fine !

English version … check below

Zoals het liedje van Lauren Alaina ook zegt I’m doing fine, wil ik kan jullie zeggen … Ik voel me beter dan FINE !

I’m doing FINE

Door dit nieuwe leven kan ik voor het eerst weer genieten van het leven !

2017

De eerste maanden van 2017 waren een echte hel. Ik kon niet meer genieten van het leven, was volledig opgebrand, had nergens nog zin in. Eigenlijk was het zo’n vorm van autistische burn-out want ik kon gewoon niets meer.

Toen ik eind maart mijn ontslag kreeg, was dat voor mij heel erg. Alsof er nog maar eens een stukje van mijn leven weg ging. Gewoon foetsie, weg.

De maand mei was dan nog erger met het overlijden van mijn oma, en het gevoel krijgen dat je jouw laatste week op je werk ook niet meer gewenst bent. Pffffieuw zo hard allemaal, zeker voor iemand met Autisme Spectrum Stoornis.

Met de nodige steun van iedereen om weer vat te krijgen op  mijn leven, op mijn ASS, op mijn nieuwe job toekomst enzovoort … ben ik er nu weer bovenop.

Het leven met ASS is helemaal niet gemakkelijk, maar als je voldoende steun krijgt van iedereen rondom je dan kom je er wel. Je moet dan natuurlijk wel toelaten om die steun ook te aanvaarden ! 

Oktober/November 2017

Mijn zoektocht naar een nieuwe job, leverde me in september ook een job op! Een job als verkoopster in één van mijn favoriete winkels, met een fantastisch team enzovoort. Het is gewoon geweldig.

OK, ja wetende dat ik voordien werkte als boekhouder, ziet iedereen dit als een fameuze stap achteruit in mijn carrière. Alsof ik weer van nul ben begonnen, alsof ik mijn leven vergooit heb.

Tja, wat anderen denken hé, daar ben ik nu wel over !

Ik ben voor het eerst in mijn leven ook echt gelukkig ! Hoe meer ik ga werken, hoe gelukkiger ik ook echt ben. Het is zelfs voor mij schrikken als ik mezelf daar in de winkel zou bezig zien. Zo enthousiast, zo meegaand, zo happy en dat voor iemand die de eerste keer in de winkel staat !

Toch besef ik nu ook nog hoe belangrijk het is om op tijd rust te nemen en mijn hoofd wat leeg te maken.

Sinds vorig weekend ben ik elke dag bezig geweest. Was het niet op het werk, dan was het met het leggen van vloerverwarming. Ik had mezelf dus weer even geen rust gegund met de vele hoofdpijndagen tot gevolg.

Vandaag lekker uitgeslapen en nu kan ik er weer tegen. Nu lekker genieten van deze mooie herfstdag en dan verder gaan met wat bakken. Ik heb al sinds Hallewoon zin in zo’n echte Amerikaanse pompoentaart. Dus dat staat straks nog op het programma.

De rest van de week verloopt wat rustiger, maar 3 dagen werken en voor het eerst sinds ik in oktober begon met werken ben ik nu eens thuis op een zondag. Dat gaat nu wel wennen worden om niet te moeten gaan.

Geniet van jullie dag, hoop dat jullie ook zo’n fantastische tijd nog te gemoed gaan !

Veel liefs, Lucy xx

 

Because I have a lot of English followers on my twitter and Instagram, places where you also can find me … I’m starting to write this blog also in English, so above in Dutch below an English version!
Hope you like it ! 

English version

Like Lauren Alaina is singing in her song, wel I can say that I’m doing fine ! Well I’m doing more than fine at the moment. I feel fantastic!

I’m doing FINE

By having this new life, I finally can enjoy my life for the first time in forever !

2017

The first few months of 2017 were horrible, just like living in hell. I couldn’t enjoy life, I was totally out, I couldn’t do a thing at that moment. It was a form of an Autistic Burn-out because I couldn’t do  a thing. I was so used that everything must be perfection but it wasn’t the case.

In Mars I got fired of my job as an accountant. Bad period, bad month. Knowing that you are not welcome at your job anymore is so hard. It’s so hard knowing that you have to stay another few months knowing that the end of your work is coming.

In May my grandmother passed away, more terrible news. I stayed home sick for a week. The week I came back to the office was my last week, but my colleagues cleaned my desk, closets and took away all my work. I didn’t feel welcome there that week, so I was kind of angry that they didn’t had respect to wait till I left the monday after to clean.

I got some great support for my mental problems during that period of time, and in June I just got an amazing support in finding a new job. With all that support I was able to find a new job and build a new happy life!

Living with ASD is not easy, not easy at all! But when you get great support from the people around you, you can have a great life. Never be afraid to ask for help and for accepting help from others ! 

October/November 2017

I found a new job in September as a Sales Assistant in one of my favorite stores (shoe store). When you have a passion about shoes that’s the place to be in Belgium! It’s just a great store, great collection, great team to work with …. everything about it I just love (euh more adore). It’s just so incredible awsome to work there!

Okay, as you know I worked as an accountant before and everybody is seeing this job as a huge fall back. Like starting a new job as a student but not as a real job. Most people are seeing my new job as a way of throwing away my life, I just have to work again as an accountant.

Grr, so horrible that nobody understands the reason why I want to work with something that is my passion.

But who cares! I have a great life now, I’m feeling soooo happy for the first time in my life. I’m so happy when I’m in that store and when I can sell the shoes I even like better than the person who’s buying them.

Like every day with ASD I know that is important that I don’t forget to take breaks from life and have a day with doing nothing. Since last weekend I worked every day (at my job or at my house putting under floor heating) it was time to take a day doing nothing today. Waking up at 11 am, and preparing a healthy lunch etc.

For the rest of the week I only have to work 3 days so that’s good. I even have to work on Saterday which is a bank holliday in Belgium. And for the first time in weeks I have a Sunday of. I going to be difficult to be at home on a Sunday again.

Well I hope you all have an amazing day like mine today and you also have a fantastic life !

Regards, Lucy xx

 

Hope you liked my blogpost in English. Please let me know ! I love reading your comments! Have a nice day ! xx